Photo provided by Charmaine
Told and Finalized by Charmaine
Interviewed by Qiran Zhang and Liqing Pan
Proofread and Edited by Liqing Pan
When Jane invited me to take the interview, I jokingly said that she would probably be disappointed as I don’t see myself as a woman of fascinating stories. I lived a generally speaking smooth and peaceful life, without significant ups and downs.
Although my story might not be that exciting, my life is not without passion, joys and sorrows. I have a profound passion for education and communications and have loved working and in education and being an educator myself for most of my working life. I try to stay positive most of the time, and I feel I have been lucky and very blessed.
Throughout my life I have lived in many different places: South Africa, the USA, Malaysia, and now China. In each country I kept learning new things and sharing them with others. At the age of 57, I am still guest-lecturing and teaching part-time, and this time in a new country, a new culture, which is quite exciting although challenging. I like this adventure, but more importantly, I see it as me fulfilling the meaning of life and answering my call of passion. I hope my story will inspire some of you and lighten your heart a little bit.
Passion for education
My hometown is Johannesburg, in South Africa, the country often described as the“rainbow nation”. I was born and bred in a white middle-class family, and my parents have always been very supportive. As I grew up, I realized just how privileged we were as white South Africans. We attended good schools and received the best education, but many South Africans didn’t have that same privilege. And it wasn’t about bad parenting—it was about not having a choice.
Many parents didn’t have an education themselves (then), or the financial means (now) to send their children to school. And this formed a vicious cycle: without a good education, it’s hard to earn money, and then the kids also can’t afford school fees for their kids, in turn poverty gets inherited. It had to do with the social injustice, which was a problem in the past, but as reforms are taking place, hopefully things are changing. But it’s something that has always bothered me because, without proper education, it’s hard for people to reach their full potential.
I didn’t fully understand this until I was older, but now I see that education isn’t just a passion for me—it’s a core belief. I truly believe that education can change lives.
Even when I was working for corporations in my early career days, I enjoyed lecturing on the side.
Before I started my career in marketing communications, I first studied Corporate Communications, and then went on to do a postgraduate degree in journalism and public relations. Eventually, I also completed my master’s degree in cultural diversity, which is something I’m passionate about.
I’ve always been very aware of diversity. In my work, especially in communications and education, I’ve had to deal with people from many different cultural backgrounds. For example, in all my years lecturing in South Africa, I’ve never had a class with just one group—it was always a mix. So, being mindful of cultural differences is second nature to me. That’s why education and communication are so close to my heart, and I’ve always tried to combine the two in my work.
The university where I worked at the time when I considered my master’s studies, underwent a merger with another university - a technical skills college. The culture of the two schools were very different, which led to significant management issues. Although I joined about five years after the merger, things were still messy. That experience inspired my master’s research, and it’s part of the reason why I wanted to go to the U.S. to learn more about higher education and administration.
So, when I was elected for the Fulbright Hubert H. Humphrey Fellowship, I had the chance to study in the U.S. for a year, in Pennsylvania, where I studied Administration in Higher Education.
I remember the stark contrast between my experiences in South Africa and those in the United States. In South Africa, I had become accustomed to teaching in classrooms filled with students from all walks of life—students who brought with them their own unique perspectives and challenges. But in the United States, the focus seemed to be more on individualism, on how each person could stand out and make their mark. This was both inspiring and, at times, disheartening. I realized that while cultural diversity was celebrated in many places, true understanding and inclusion required more than just tolerance. It required action, empathy, and a willingness to learn from one another.
After my year in the United States, I returned to South Africa, eager to apply what I had learned. The country was still grappling with the legacy of apartheid, and Black Economic Empowerment (BEE) policies had been introduced to address the economic disparities caused by decades of racial segregation. While these policies were necessary and long overdue, they also made it more challenging for people like me—white professionals—to find permanent employment.
Black Economic Empowerment (BEE) has made it difficult for any white South African to find work. For example, many women I know didn’t return to work after having children. Some of them just accepted that, and luckily, their husbands could support them financially. For women who wanted to work and needed jobs to provide for their families, it was a huge challenge.
Regardless, getting back into the workplace is tough for everyone. That’s why I am glad I could choose lecturing as a career of choice—it gave me more flexibility. I could lecture after hours or manage my schedule differently. But not everyone has the qualifications or ability to teach or lecture. For many mothers it is not an option.
And this could only be harder for a mother.
Motherhood: my priorities
Parents have great influence on children, and the mother in a family usually has a stronger bond with the kids, therefore they play a key role in children’s upbringing.
This perception is drawn from my personal experience. When I grew up, our family was very close-knit, and my mother played a big role in who I am today. She has a strong personality - determined and persistent. I see a lot of my actions and beliefs a reflection of hers. She taught me perseverance and creative thinking. My father provided stability, and looked after us financially, but my mother provided us with the driving force of living. She wanted us to always be striving for improvement, stay curious and be a life-long learners. That has all been inherited by me, and thinking about that, I can see some similarities in the pattern how I raise my kids and maintain my family relations.
It is never easy being a mother, and there were definitely difficult times, especially when my kids were young. For example, I’ve always struggled to sleep well – I never seem to get a good night’s sleep. It was manageable when I wasn’t working, but once you start working, you realize just how important sleep is. Unfortunately, it’s not something you can control. For me, that was one of the hardest things to manage, but somehow, we learn to cope.
My kids are two years apart in age, so they were both toddlers at the same time, which made it even more challenging. I decided not to work until they started school, and even after they started school, I was still looking for half-day work, so I could be home when they finished school each day.
The funny thing is, you still end up doing eight hours of work, just crammed into four hours because you know you need to get home. So being a part-time worker does not mean you work less—you just work faster and take work home to do after hours, even though you’re paid half the salary, you’re still doing all the work.
And when I was teaching night classes, I would still have to do all my day work and get the children sorted out first before I left the house. So, I end up doing two jobs without even thinking about it—extra work, and you don’t really get paid for that job (motherhood). I guess that’s why they invented Mother’s Day! Only one day a year is definitely not enough, though.
Being a mother also means constant emotional involvement. I have one son and one daughter, and unfortunately, both my children struggle with depression. The cause for their depression is genetic - it runs in our family. They didn’t start showing symptoms until adolescence—around 16 or 17, both. Maybe it was there earlier, but that’s typically when young people begin to find things harder. At that age, they need to find themselves and to start working through their own problems. As the parent, no matter how concerned or worried, you must give your kids freedom to find themselves while still being there for them - you can never fully switch off. I don’t know if you’d call it ‘tough love,’ but that’s one approach. It’s draining, though, because no matter where I am or what I do, they’re always my priority, and a mother will always only be as happy as their unhappiest child.
There have been times when I had to drop everything, take leave, and go to support them, which I always do. As I’ve said before, you make up the work later—it never takes priority over your children. In terms of my career, I made sure being a mother didn’t hold me back in the corporate world. I just worked twice as hard. I’d do my work at times when I should’ve been sleeping.
So, I’ve always believed I need to be the strong one. My husband takes care of us financially, but I’m mostly responsible for my children’s mental wellbeing. I have to stay positive, show them that I never give up, and be an example of perseverance. My kids are now in their 20s, and they are much stronger, but still, I want to set a good example for them. When I first found out that we would be relocating to China for a couple of years, I struggled with the idea of coming here without my children, but I realized they are young adults, and I must trust and believe that they will be fine because of what we’ve taught them and the example we’ve set for them. I think a big part of why I’m so determined is to show my children that no matter the challenges, I’ll keep going.
Yes, being a mother is not easy, and I must admit that women do carry a much heavier weight than men in that regard. But I am a very positive person, and I don’t have a ‘victim’ mentality. I have never regretted having children and being a mother, or pursuing a career while having children. It is so rewarding that I am quite content in this role, and even in an afterlife, I would not want to trade roles (with my husband).
I love working!
Honestly, I’ve always loved working.
I wouldn’t say I’m a workaholic, but I enjoy it so much that it’s never felt like a burden to me. It’s almost like my hobby, which helped me keep a balance.
As I mentioned before, finding a job in South Africa is very difficult. So, I feel extremely fortunate to be able to work in a field that I am passionate about. No matter how ambitious I am careerwise, I have never felt it necessary to do it at the expense of my children.
I took breaks with the birth of both my children, and I prioritized my children when they were young, but I also felt I need to work for intellectual stimulation. The one doesn’t have to replace the other. It could both be present if society allows.
In South Africa, women are allowed maternity leave, but should they decide to stop working or take additional time off work, there are no guarantees that you will get your job back when you return after a long leave of absence. And the same goes for the current job market - when you give up a job, you pretty much know that you’re not going to get the same one back again. It’s not like they hold it for you, or you can just jump right back into the workforce. Every time I took a break from working full time, it took me years to find another job, literally.
As I already mentioned, I didn’t work until my kids started school, and then I was working half days. Once the children started doing more activities, I went back to full-time work. I sometimes also worked after hours if I needed to attend to mentoring or coaching assignments. For some people, that might be a problem, but for me, it was a pleasure because I was doing what I loved. The work is rewarding enough to make up for the time and effort I put in.
In terms of balancing life and work, mothers make the best of difficult situations to find balance. I can tell you; my bosses never knew about my struggles at home—whether it was the fact that I didn’t sleep or the issues my children were facing. To employers, it didn’t matter. You just have to deliver. You have your deliverables, and the outcome must be there, no matter how or when you do it. And I think, speaking for other people too, that’s what we do. Women, in particular, just absorb everything that needs to be done, and we deliver on both fronts. People often don’t realize what you’re sacrificing until they experience it themselves. You make it look easy, but in reality, you compromise—whether it’s sleep or other aspects of your life—to deliver at work while also being there for your children. I think it’s just in our nature. We don’t overthink it; it’s survival. You just do what you have to do.
Despite the difficulty of job hunting, I can barely remember it now because, in the end, I was able to find another path forward. But the experience of job-hunting also made me realize how important it is to educate people beforehand, to help them adapt to the corporate environment and succeed in their job applications. Even something as simple as teaching someone how to put a CV together or prepare for an interview can make a huge difference. For us, it feels normal because we’ve done it before, but for someone who hasn’t been in an interview situation for a while, it’s a game-changer.
A couple of years ago, while still in South Africa, I participated in a leadership program where people from the corporate world, like me, were paired with headmasters (principals) of schools in rural, underprivileged areas. The idea wasn’t to give them money—in fact, you weren’t allowed to help them financially. Instead, you were there to mentor and coach the headmaster or principal. What often happens in these rural schools is that a regular teacher suddenly gets promoted to become the leader, but they have never been taught any leadership skills. And thus, having to run an entire school without any guidance on how to lead.
In this program, you’d work with them for a year, meeting every month to coach them on leadership skills, team building, and other important aspects of running a school effectively. To me, that kind of support is way more valuable than financial aid. Financial donations can only go so far, but empowering someone with skills—that’s something that lasts and makes a real difference. I did that for a year, and it was an incredible experience. I think more is to be done in that aspect.
Before I left South Africa, I was the Chief Marketing Officer (CMO) at a private higher education institution, and I worked there for three and a half years. When my husband got transferred to Beijing, I had to leave my job, which was tough because I loved my job and working.
Adapting to new life in China
The decision of coming to China was not simple or easy for me.
I had never envisioned that I would be here in China, and moreover, coming to China means I had to give up my job, which, given the BEE, would not be waiting for me there when we return to SA, not to mention I am already in my 50s. Lastly, the field of marketing is very competitive, and always evolving, with many younger people having more up-to-date skills.
But I was hopeful that I could find something in China where I could use my skills, experience, and knowledge. And you never know until you try! Also, when I’m old, I would like to look back on all these memories as great experiences. That would be incredible! I never want to be bored. I also want to encourage my children in this way, so that they bravely take on the challenges in life.
I think my friends might think I’m a bit crazy for taking this path at this stage in my life wanting to still work instead of just retiring and socializing. But I have nothing to lose; it’s all about gaining experiences, meeting new people and intellectual stimulation.
And now I can say with certainty that I don’t regret my choice to come to China! Every day is a new experience! I’ve been here for two years, but there hasn’t been a day when I don’t see something new or different. I wouldn’t say it’s easy and I definitely don’t take anything for granted. It’s hard to even pinpoint examples, but every day brings something unexpected. I’m enjoying my time in Beijing, and I’ve traveled quite a bit across China. We’ve visited the pandas and the Terracotta Warriors, and there are just so many amazing things to do here.
Yet I am not ready to give up on working yet. After we moved to Beijing, I applied for many vacancies. I was keen to find a way to use my skills, but it’s tough, especially in marketing—you need to understand the market and, of course, the language. So, what I did was to reach out to international universities, offering to do guest lectures for free. Through that, I got a few opportunities to guest lecture (pro bona) at a couple of local campuses as a subject matter expert. It’s been an amazing chance to experience Chinese culture and connect with local students.
I’ve had the opportunity to meet with students in Hangzhou, Shenzhen, as well as young professionals pursuing their MBAs in Beijing. It’s incredibly rewarding because I get to share my knowledge while also learning from them. Honestly, that’s been the highlight of my time in China so far!
While I was still looking for job opportunities and realizing that I will probably not be able to work in China – for many valid reasons, I decided to enroll in an art therapy diploma course. I thought, if I can’t find work, I can at least study something meaningful, like art therapy, which I could one day apply either in the corporate world to help executives manage stress or with underprivileged children who don’t have access to therapy. Mental wellness is crucial for a quality life, and so many people struggle with their mental health.
I figured that by focusing on studying, I’d take my mind off the job hunt. And I believe something will eventually come through for me. If I can’t find a job, then I’ll use my art therapy skills to work with people in underprivileged communities. I’ve always been someone who sees the glass as half full. If one door doesn’t open, I’ll find another way and give back to the community in the process.
Of course, like anyone, I do get discouraged when I don’t hear back from recruiters or get rejected. It can be demotivating. But I still try to see it as an opportunity to learn something new. In my spare time, I read books. I love historical novels. The last book I read was about women in medicine throughout Chinese history, exploring how they passed down knowledge through generations. It was fascinating. I also love biographies and various academic/non-fiction books on marketing, critical thinking, and leadership.
Moving forward
Although I have not found any formal job yet, I am adjusting myself to enjoy this “leisure time”. When I was working full time, there was definitely no balance for me. During my full-time employment there were hardly any time for my hobbies or interests. Now I can pursue these interests – art, art therapy and reading all the books that I’ve always wanted to read but never had time for.
Work is still important to me. I need purpose in my life. I look for ways to utilize my skills and experience, and to pursue my goals and interests. That is how I ended up connecting with Jane through the U.S. Embassy—she was also part of an exchange program. I felt like maybe this (GMI) was a space where my experience and skillset could make a difference, and where I can collaborate with GMI, under the guidance of their amazing founder Jane, on some projects to help woman cultivate career skills and be better positioned and prepared for the workplace.
Living abroad, like in Beijing was not without its personal challenges. As a mother of two young adults—my daughter studying in the Netherlands and my son working in South Africa—the distance between us is often hard to bear. My husband and I have always been close with our children, and the time apart is difficult for all of us. We make it a priority to visit them as often as we can, and we stay in close contact through calls and messages. It is not the same as being together in person, but we make it work.
Now, I find myself at new crossroads. My children are (young) adults, my husband’s career continues to take us to new places, and I am constantly looking for new ways to contribute to the world around me. Whether through art therapy, guest lectures, or mentoring, I know that my story is far from over. There are still so many more things to explore, so much work to be done, and so many opportunities to make a difference.
As I look to the future, I am filled with hope. My journey has been anything but linear, but that’s what makes it so exciting. Each new chapter brings with it new challenges and new possibilities, and I am ready to embrace them all.
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