Written by Marta Cámara     I am Marta Cámara, a woman of faith, a writer mom, and an explorer of this world and many other imaginary worlds. Reflecting on my journey, I see how my roots in Madrid, Spain, have shaped my path. Studying law and practicing as an attorney for several years laid a strong foundation for my career and brought me to China. The pursuit of advanced education took me to the National University of Singapore, where I earned a Master of Laws, and later to Durham University Business School for an MBA. For the last nineteen years, since 2005, life in Asia with my husband and our children has been a blend of personal and professional growth. Here, I've had the privilege of discovering and merging my passions for history and writing with my role in advising companies on regional investments and social entrepreneurship projects. I am not afraid of exploring new paths. I love traveling, immersing myself in different cultures, and learning new languages. Writing is my true calling, alongside teaching and advocating for social causes, especially regarding education for girls and vulnerable children and women's growth and development. As an author, I’ve explored diverse genres, penning five historical women’s fiction novels and four contemporary romances under different pseudonyms. My latest novel, published by Penguin Random House in 2023, marks an important milestone in my literary journey. I try to embody the spirit of "Be the change that you want to see in the world." Growing up, I was involved in social work with my family from a young age, but it was during my time in law school in Madrid that I really committed to making a social impact. While many of my peers were out partying on Friday nights, I spent hours with friends in the city's poorest district, providing warm food, coffee, and company to those struggling with drug addiction. This initiative, called Bocatas, continues to this day. When I moved to Shanghai to work as an attorney-at-law at an international firm, I became involved with the NGO Caritas. I cared for sick orphan children in the hospital and even fostered a very ill baby until he was strong enough to undergo heart surgery. My family and I then went through a long and challenging process to adopt him. My commitment to causes I believe in is something I take very seriously, always putting my whole heart and soul into my efforts. Motherhood has been a profoundly enriching part of my journey. The experience of fostering and adopting a child who needed so much care and love has deepened my understanding of commitment and empathy. Balancing motherhood, writing and my professional and social endeavors has taught me the importance of nurturing the mind, heart and soul, and the impact of unconditional support. I also support International Animal Rescue and live with seven rescued cats. After several years in the legal field, I felt ready for a change and transitioned to the food industry and hospitality. As a Spaniard, food is a significant part of my culture, but it also holds special importance due to my family's teachings and values. Both sides of my family come from very poor backgrounds. My grandmother, Segunda Díaz, was a widow with five children, and despite the hardships, her home was always open to everyone. Her generosity, sense of community, and joyful spirit have always inspired me. My father's family was even poorer. My grandfather, Pedro López, worked fixing bridges for the railroad and traveled extensively, leaving the family to often struggle with hunger. One of my father's happiest childhood memories was when his father brought home a sack full of oranges. These values and the aim of ending hunger and building a healthier, fairer, and more nourishing food system motivated my start in the food industry. In 2020, after 12 years of experience in operations, development, and strategy, I founded my own consultancy, Impactrum7. Through it, I support, mentor, and manage projects related to food with social or environmental purposes and impacts. I took on the responsibility of managing the program for a charity called Shanghai Young Bakers, which provides bakery and pastry vocational training and life skills to disadvantaged youth. Many of the students I worked with faced various challenges, but I never gave up on any of them, even when advised to send some back to their hometowns. One particularly challenging situation involved a girl who had been abandoned at birth and abused by her adoptive mother. During the program, she had an emotional crisis. Despite the high risks and the organization's recommendation to expel her, I brought her into my home and supervised her personally. I believe that every act of generosity requires hard work and pushes our limits, but committing personally is the best way to lead and bring true change to the lives of others. Two of my recent projects involve implementing food waste prevention programs across different countries. The impact of this work is multifaceted. Environmentally, reducing food waste lessens the demand for production, conserves water, soil nutrients, and energy, and prevents pollution. Socially, it ensures that food remains within the system, available for those in need. Financially, preventing food waste saves money, which can be better used elsewhere in the business, benefiting employees. It also raises individual awareness and changes behavior towards food. So far, my work has prevented $635,504 and 203,241 pounds of food waste, avoided 642 metric tons of CO2 emissions, conserved the equivalent of 2,264,493 bathtubs of water, and saved 169,361 meals from being lost. The Man in the Mirror, a song by Michael Jackson inspires me every day: "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change." For anyone who wants to contribute to social causes, my message is this: "Look around you; there is always someone who needs support, a kind word, or a strong hand to hold. Start by helping within your closest square meter and expand until your kind heart touches thousands." In my life, the roles of mother, writer, and socially committed individual are deeply interconnected. As a mother, I’ve learned the importance of unconditional love and sacrifice, which I bring into my social initiatives and writing. As a writer, I channel my experiences and insights into stories that inspire and connect with others, rescuing episodes from History that can fire up our present, while shedding light on social issues and human resilience. My social commitment drives me to create meaningful change, whether through direct action or by influencing minds and hearts through my words. My aim is that each facet of my life enriches the others, creating a tapestry of purpose, passion, and impact. I hope that we can walk this path together as Global Moms.

AI generated photo to show old village of China Written by Zhang Runlian English Translated by Pan Liqing My mother is the person I love the most. I love her, and she loves me too. She loves each her children, and she loves the family she worked so hard to support throughout her life. Lunar calendar day October 2nd, 2021 was a day of enormous sorrow for us seven siblings. It’s the day we lost our mother! Now almost two years have passed since then, but my longing for my mother has only grown stronger. Every time I return to my hometown and see the room where my mother once lived and the things she used, it feels as if her image and smile are right in front of me. I recall that back when my mother was healthy, whenever she knew that her children working away from home were coming back, she would always wait for us at the doorstep until we got out of the car. We would habitually shout, "Mom, I'm home!" and she would happily respond, "Hey, my dear, you are home!" then help us carry our luggage inside. When our mother was still around, we siblings living afar in cities would always feel that our mother was our home, and our home was our mother. Time flies, and life is short! Now, as I approach the autumn of my own life, I deeply understand the difficulty of raising children! Whenever I think of the hardships my mother endured throughout her life, feelings of guilt arise! The time I spent with my mother was too little, and the duties I fulfilled were too few! So little happiness of her was attributed to me. During her memorial period, I could only write these words as a tribute, as a token of the children's meager remembrance of her. For all her life, my mother was diligent, kind, and understanding. She was always helpful to the weak, loved doing good deeds, and displayed great wisdom! She was in some way a famous figure and known by people within a hundred miles! She lived harmoniously with the neighbors and took great care of the family! Despite the many hardships in her life, she never let difficulties defeat her! Even when she had no rice to cook and had to borrow from others, she would still not hesitate to share if she meets the poor who really needs. If she come across monks who collect alms or funds for building bridges and repairing roads, she would also donate, no matter how difficult it was for her. She told us children to do more good deeds, so that the heaven would look after us! My mother was a true believer of Buddhism and karma. She often told us that Buddha would bless us, that difficulties were temporary, and that good times would follow hard times. And that’s because Buddha was always silently watching over and protecting those who accumulated virtue and did good deeds, and he was able to tell all the good and evil in the world! Influenced by my mother, I also hold my firm belief in this. My mother is just such a person with such simple faith. She lived a simple life, was not afraid of hardship or fatigue, and did her best to raise her seven children. She was an ordinary yet great mother! My mother was born into an ordinary rural family, the only daughter among four siblings, and was very pampered. As a result, she was not very good at farm work! As she grew up, she married my elder sibling’s father, and the marriage was the union of beauty and a talented. The husband was tall, handsome, and quite capable, serving as the village committee secretary at a young age. They had five children and lived a happy life for twelve years! During this time, my mother was mostly giving birth and raising children, with the help of other family members and elders. Although it was not easy, it was still a happy time. My mother hardly did any heavy farm work during this period, and at that time such as lifestyle was quite decent in countryside. However, fate took a cruel turn. My mom’s first husband developed heart disease in his early thirties. Medical technology was underdeveloped at that time, and he did not receive proper treatment. He passed away at just thirty-five, leaving my mother and five young children behind! The eldest sister was only eleven years old, and the youngest brother was not yet a year old. When the villagers saw the five young children in mourning clothes kneeling at the grave, everyone wept. The villagers sympathized with them, saying that such a good person and such a happy family had collapsed because the pillar was gone. My mother fainted from crying at home back then. But life had to go on. After a period of grief, my mother wiped out her tears and transformed from a weak woman into a strong mother who protected her children! After a year of hard life, many people suggested my mother to remarry so that a man can support her, and she finally accepted the advice. Through a matchmaker, she married my father. My father's ancestors were craftsmen and quite wealthy, with some seven of eight generations working as carpenters, passing down the craft! My father was also pampered as a child and had not done much farm work either, and developed a selfish personality. Due to societal changes, he went from a rich young master to a sinner who got criticized and denounced, and therefore lived a muddled life. He was not putting his heart into carpentry, and was unable to support such a large family! Moreover, after marrying with my mother, me, a daughter was born. My father, like many men of his time, valued sons over daughters, and suggested giving me away because girls are “useless”. My mother, out of anger, really sent me to a family in the same village who wanted a daughter. My eldest brother and sister cried when they knew I was given away, and my mother also was not so cold-hearted to abandon me. Then they come with a plan. Mom had my brother and sister go to that family's place to get me back, using the excuse that she feared I might be hungry so needed to be nursed. That family had guessed that my mother must have regretted and allowed them to take me back. I returned to this big family and joined the hard times of kids not having enough food and clothing. The difficult time continued for two more years, and then my younger sister was born. Seeing a daughter again, my father wanted to give her away again because he wanted to have a boy, but my mother won’t agree. This was the final straw that led to the complete breakdown of their relationship. My mother felt my father was irresponsible and incapable of taking great responsibility, so she decided to stop having children and underwent sterilization! My father said, "If you won't give me a son, why should I support this big family? Let's live separately in the future." Since then, my father lived his life, and my mother lived hers. Two more years passed, during which time we constantly borrow life necessities from neighbors! By then, my eldest sister was about fourteen, and my eldest brother about twelve. They voluntarily gave up their chance to go to school, taking on the heavy responsibilities of the family. They did farm work, heavy work, dirty work, and tiring work from a very early age! My mother also did various hard jobs from morning till night to support the family. At that time, my second brother had to look after all the the younger siblings! Fortunately, he was very smart and diligent, and excelling in his studies. My mother and elder siblings all supported him to continue with studies, saying no matter how hard it was, he must receive education. At that time, few people in the countryside valued education. Many were satisfied with just finishing primary school, believing that to know some words and numbers was already enough. Few realized the importance of education in changing one's fate, but my mother was different, and she knew very clearly that only education could change our destiny! Then my aunt advised my mother against letting my second brother go to school, saying it was a waste of money, and it would be much better to have an extra pair of working hands, which not only saves money but also means more income to support the family. My mother did not heed her advice and insisted that my second brother continue his education. She said, "Nothing is more superior than knowledge," urging us to study hard so that we could get away from poverty and the mountains. Indeed, my mother had foresight. My second brother earned good scores in examine and was admitted to Beijing Normal University in 1985. His grades were good enough to get into Tsinghua or Peking University, but he chose Beijing Normal University because it offered a monthly stipend of forty yuan, considering the poverty of our family. The news of this top student from the mountains was like today's headline news, spreading throughout our county and neighboring counties. More and more people praised my second brother and my mother for her educational guidance! My second brother and mother became famous within a hundred miles! My mother's status rose significantly, and she was praised and respected wherever she went! Later, as my second brother pursued his master's, doctorate, and postdoctoral studies, the family's social and economic status improved year by year due to his education! My mother's life also got better and better! As the children grew up, my mother encouraged us younger ones to study hard, and I became one of the few female college students from our area in that era. At that time, few rural girls continued their education. From the years when my second brother went to college, the local customs changed. Previously, people thought education was useless, but later they urged their children to study hard, to learn from my second brother, who could attend a top university in Beijing despite the hardships. Since then, people from my hometown have regarded my mother as an exemplary parent, admiring her tenacious character and indomitable spirit! My mother was just a very simple rural woman. In her youth, she served as the chair of woman’s committee in the village, and she loved beauty! This remained unchanged even in her hardest and most difficult years. She dressed neat and clean every day, full of energy. In fact, I once saw my mother sobbing bitterly, and I cried with her. Looking back now, I realize how desperate and helpless she was, yet also how strong! She always healed herself slowly, always presenting an optimistic appearance in front of others! In my youth, I hardly paid attention to my mother's appearance because she was the closest, most intimate, and most familiar person to us. I never noticed her changes! I never remembered when my mother got gray hair, wrinkles, lost teeth, or a slightly stooped back, until my eldest sister noticed in 2016 that my mother often forgot things quickly, sometimes even forgetting address of home, and forgetting what she had just said. Once a clean-loving person, she then became reluctant to take a bath, and couldn't remember the names of some close relatives. We panicked and realized that our mother had Alzheimer's disease. When my eldest sister described our mother's symptoms to me, she couldn't stop crying! Our mother might soon forget us, so I quickly put aside my work and returned to my hometown to accompany her for a month. That was the most comforting and worthwhile time I spent with my mother! My eldest sister and I took our mother to the park, ate delicious food, and took photos. My mother was as happy as a child! We asked her if she was happy, and she said she was very happy! Knowing that our mother might gradually forget us in the future was heartbreaking, with a lot of sorrow! In the following years, my mother's Alzheimer's disease worsened. She gradually forgot us, gradually lost her mobility, and finally even had difficulty swallowing. My second brother sought medical treatment everywhere to get her better care. Our mother suffered from the illness for several years, and despite years of treatment, she was not cured. She passed away on October 2nd, 2021, according to the lunar calendar. We seven siblings were heartbroken but had to accept her passing, wishing her peace! If it weren't for the torment of illness, our mother's later life would have been very happy, with her children grown up, successful, and living happy lives! She also harvested the fruits of her younger life’s hardworking - now with her children all become prominent celebrity locally and admired by others, and being very filial to her, she was quite admired by others and was very content! One could say my mother's life was extraordinary. She experienced hardships, setbacks, and low points. She has had a happy marriage but also later turmoil. She witnessed life's ups and downs, lived difficulties and happiness, and experienced colds and warmth! In her old age, she had a large family with children and grandchildren, four generations under one roof, living a happy senior life. Although she got illness, she also received good treatment and care, living decently. In the countryside, eighty-year-old was considered longevity, and she passed away peacefully! Oh Mother, the greatest legacy you left us is the indomitable spirit, perseverance, unyielding optimism, and your hard work! No matter the time or place, we, her children and grandchildren, will always remember and be grateful to her! Time and distance will never diminish our longing for her, only deepen it! Her spirit will influence and inspire us, her descendants to never give up and to believe in a better future! Written by Zhang Runlian on September 26, 2023.

Written by Salome I am Salome, first of all the Mom of the most beautiful girl named Anamaria. Then I am Mrs. Salome, Dr. Salome, Professor Salome... There are many statuses, but I am just Salome. I am a girl born in the old part of Tbilisi city, in a city that I always love, miss and always think about, no matter where I go, no matter where I live, my Tbilisi, that small old part where I used to live, always warms my heart. I wrote an article on f my current living place, the city of Guangzhou, with the title: "From an Italian yard to a Chinese yard". It's really a big contrast, but my "Italian yard" is irreplaceable.    I have been living in China for seven years and I come to Georgia several times a year, so as an emigrant I always miss my city. Tbilisi is a small city, where I was born, where I spent all my childhood and youth, in the old part of Tbilisi, there is our private house in it with its beautiful yard, which is looked after by my mom and has a real oasis, there is a different smell in old Tbilisi, the neighborhood is also different, there are a few gossips, too much they are interested in, but very kind and attentive people. Perhaps being at such a long distance from home, I understandably feel a sense of nostalgia for my own city, and there is no better place on earth for me.   There are many important moments and snapshots to remember from my life, but I will single out two in particular: the chain of love of the old and new generations, the joy given by the people in my life, which is unconditional, incomparable and superior. I will recall one fact from my deep childhood, my father, who was a fighter participating in the wars of Abkhazia and Ossetia.   I waited every day for my father, who went to the war in Abkhazia, with my sincere childish expectation and the hope that he would definitely return alive. From the window of the second floor of the house, every day I would look at the road and just remember very clearly, an old cassette tape was strung between the wooden posts. I gave this tape a special symbolic load, that its rustling would give me a sign that my father was coming back, that my father was alive, and one calm day, I looked at the tape, it seemed to shake, a wonderful feeling settled in my heart and a little anxiety, I looked at the road and he was coming, the father was really coming, dressed in uniform, with a beard, high-necked boots, he was coming with big steps, a ‘’Kabalakhi’’ wrapped around his head and a weapon slung over his shoulder. I would love that every children’s dream come true, just like mine then.   The joy of my father’s return alive from the war did not last long, and very soon, my mom with three children, became a widow at the age of just 38. Everyone's mother is beautiful, sweet, warm and the best, but my mom is truly the most beautiful and the bravest one. If it wasn’t my mom’s sacrifice, in the full sense of the word, we wouldn't be who we are today. Personally, my mother is the main motivator in my life, she is the creator of all my successes and achievements.   All important achievements in my life, starting with education and ending with career, all my life's "victories" I dedicate to her. It is difficult and perhaps unimaginable to compensate for what a mother has done for us, but we children should try to fill our moms with the daily joy and share our love with them all the time. Helping people, revealing worthy qualities in a person and appreciating them, valuing a person not by his material condition, but by appreciating the honesty, integrity, courage, self-awareness and wholeheartedness in people, and many more things that I learned from my mother, which contributed a lot to the formation of my personality, I thank her now and for the rest of my life.   The second important event is the first moments, stages, sensations of being a mother, and I will tell you that I got this not when my daughter was born, but from the moment I heard that a second life had settled in me. It is indescribable, difficult to convey, then perhaps mother is the most beautiful, the calmest, the most balanced and divine.   In 2010, I was awarded a two years scholarship from the Chinese government and started studying Chinese language and culture at Beijing Language and Culture University with full funding. I would like to point out the fact that my university, Tbilisi State University, first time cooperated with the mentioned university in China, and two students including me, already holding the master degrees, went to China. This was my first contact with China.   Generally, before coming to China, students take a basic Chinese language course in their hometowns, but in my case, I started from “Tabula Rasa” and after two years, I mastered a high level of Chinese language, learned a lot about Chinese culture, and after returning to Georgia, I tried one of the most important positions for me, which was the hosting of the radio show "Discover China", joint project of media holding "Gbtimes" and Jako Fm.   In fact, we were pioneers not only in the entire radio space in Georgia, but also on all social platforms, for which we created unique content both in live broadcasts and in printed forms.We wrote many articles about Chinese culture, history, business, sports, daily news, both in Georgian and Chinese languages, and then these articles were translated into different languages ​​for our international readers. Every day, we invited honorable Chinese, Georgian guests and people related to China, who shared about their experiences during their stay in China. The content of our program was created for people interested in China, in fact we made a cultural bridge between China and Georgia. We enjoyed quite a lot of notoriety, because everyone knew us for our interesting creative events, which we co-organized with the Chinese Embassy in Georgia. One of the first and biggest events that we held was the "China Day" in the “Deda Ena” Park in Tbilisi, as well as an educational exhibition-forum, where we invited the best universities of Zhejiang province and gave Georgian students the opportunity to continue their studies in the best Chinese universities with scholarship programs and partial funding.   The education I got from China was very helpful for my future career advancement. I am a philologist of the Georgian and English languages, as well as a Sinologist, in addition to the important professions in which I tried myself and found that I can develop my abilities in many directions, because I can work in the business field as well as in the academic field.   Being a Mom does not mean taking responsibilities and obligations only on yourself, the involvement of the father is natural and the equal distribution of parental functions is necessary. Motherhood is not about being a victim, as only you spend and invest in raising your child, so does a father. If there was a nomination for the best father, I would definitely give this status to my husband. I won't go into the details, but if it wasn't for his active involvement in raising our daughter, Anamaria, it would have been quite a difficult process for me. I have often heard from mothers that only they are participating in the rising process of the children. My kind advice would be, dear moms, if the husband can't accept his share of responsibility in raising the child, insist on him and explain the necessity of his role in this important and difficult process, which is called raising and forming child as a person.   To know yourself, learn about you is not an easy task. I know myself by the skills, abilities, determination, hard work, results I have achieved, and I found that I can do more as a mother in any fields than I imagined. In general, human abilities have the potential to expand and develop, the main thing is to find yourself where you like to be and do what you love to do.   Before I became a Mom, I had quite a busy lifestyle, but motherhood made me find more strength in me, and today I can be busier than before. Today, as a Mom, I think that I am caring, attentive, focused on the development of my daughter, I try to give everything I can and can't.   Time management is the most important thing in life, in all registers, both in and out. I can't boast that I manage my time perfectly, but I can honestly say that it still works out well for me. It is often said "as busier you are, as better you can manage your time" is not a myth at all, this is true. After becoming a mother, my Iife is  busier, but I have a need to prioritize my time and not waste my precious minutes on things that are less important or not important at all for me. No matter how you’re going to chase your stars, remember to spend more time with your loved ones, because they are the very beings that create your inner peaceful, harmonious state of mind, wellbeing.   As for my time outside, i.e. the hours I am not at home, I organize it perfectly, I work in the non-governmental organization "Belt and Road Georgian Business House" founded and officially registered in Georgia and Guangzhou, China. We serve the interests of our country, we are known, respected and proud of us because of the things we have done here. As an academic doctor of humanities, I continue my academic work and am a professor at the Huali International college of Guangdong Technology University.   Taking care of your appearance, your body, wish to look more beautiful all the time - which woman does not think about it, probably everyone. In addition, to where I work, whether it's an organization, a business, or an academic field, I've always thought about creating something of my own that would make my inner lady happy on the one hand, and bring me financial income on the other. In 2019, I created the brand of facial care products named "Karabadini", which I registered in Georgia and also in China.   The process of working on the brand lasted for a year until we brought it to perfection, and when I saw already fully packaged product, it was a feeling of happiness and a big step forward, which definitely promised me great success. In the first stage, we produced limited quantities to test the Chinese market and it worked. The name of the brand "Karabadini" is derived from the name of the earliest monument of Georgian medical literature "Matchless Karabadini". Recently, I am still working on its further development. At the same time, I am working on two books, in two different directions, one is a direct continuation of my academic work, and the other is more to please the "child" in me. I have been able to do all this since I became a Mom, this status has given me unlimited opportunities, which I grow, develop in me and bring to the obvious.   With my short story, I tried to tell about myself. I touched all registers as much as possible, but the most important thing is you, you as a separate person, first of all as a Mom. Now let's ask ourselves, am I a good mother or not? You have already been blessed by God to be the bearer of another soul and bring new life to the world, of course you are already a good mother, but beyond that you have the need to fulfill your little whims or even big wishes.   Of course you have to do it, you deserve it, you have to do everything to be who you want to be. Probably, many people will think from my story how organized my life is, how successful I am, she achieves everything, it is ideal. What is behind all this? Of course, constant hard work for the continuous development, being in the environment of good and healthy thinking people.   If you fall down, do not be afraid! Get up!   If you get tired, do not give up! keep going!   And most importantly, never lose the feeling of gratitude and you will be the happiest, most delightful, successful, accomplished, realized woman-mother. Always be proud of yourself, your abilities, your successes, because no one knows the price of this great work that you have done to create all this, except you, dear Moms!

Told by Zeng Jianyun | Written by Margaret Nie English Translated by Christina Ren | Proofread by Liqing Pan   My name is Zeng Jianyun, a girl from Yongzhou, Hunan Province.   When I was about 10 years old, at Grade 5or 6, a sports school of Hunan, my hometown, came to recruit young athletes candidates. Probably because I was so naughty and loved to climb walls, trees and even cranes, I was chosen. Although she did not disclose what training I will receive, I was quite happy as I will have to do no more homework or exams. But my parents warned me, “Think carefully. It is really tough to be an athlete.”      At that time, I had no idea what “tough” means, and only thought it was good to be away from home, and homework, and would never be disallowed to watch TV. That was my primary motivation. I was relatively naughty back then, especially compared with my brother, who  had good grades. I remember there were two walls at home for posting things, one posted my brother’s awards and one posted mine. His award was all-over the wall, but there was nothing on my wall. So you can tell that being an athlete was also a better choice over studying for me.   Later I got arranged to practice weightlifting. After a little over one year at the sports school, I joined the Hunan Province Team. There I stayed for three years. At that time, a coach from Tianjin came to “pick” talents. I was in the lightweight class, while the Tianjin Team lacks athletes of this class. Because of this opportunity, around October 2003,  a best friend of mine and myself were chosen to join the Tianjin Team, just about 20 years ago.     After I joined the Tianjin Team I once had very good performance. I earned myself top1, or at least top-3 places in almost all the national adolescent and youth games. But in the adult level competitions, affected by injury caused by the lumbar disc herniation since I was fifteen, my performance slipped, and did not get significant breakthrough.     The mentor – like a coach, father, and friend   In 2008, my coached changed again. This second coach made a great impact on me. I recall that he said to me “You need to learn something!” But I had no idea what to start with. Then he said “Well, come and try write with me.”   I responded “OK, I’ll write with you.”   Then, following the preference of my coach, I started to practice calligraphy and writing everyday. Apart from weightlifting trainings, he also taught me some life principles, and asked us to cherish the way of living as an athlete, because living in the sports team is quite easy, needing to worry about nothing but eating and sleeping and training. Even the most trivial fuss could be dealt with by our coach.   To me, my coach was just like my parent. When we are outside, I was his trainee, who should obey all his arrangements; however privately I was willing to share many personal things with him. He was very patient, probably because he also has a daughter, and we were the first female athletes he trains. He was quite tolerant to us, but we heard he used to be rather strict with the male athletes.   When there were no training arrangements in the weekend, he would take us to the supermarket and do the grocery shopping. I was the youngest among the seven girls in the team, so I was given the nickname of “little bean”. His wife was also very kind to us and every weekend she would come to make dumplings and cook delicious meals for us. In my teenage, they were just like our parents. Even after I got married and had kid, she still would prepare me kid’s clothes and beddings etc, which made me feel so blessed.   After he became my coach in 2008, my performance stayed average and I only got 5th place in the national championship contest. I didn’t see a promising future at that time, and start to think about retiring. My coach caught my thoughts, yet he had always encouraged me not to give up.   The National Team with excellent athletes   In 2010, I got a chance and joined the National Team, but after finding the athletes there so outstanding, I felt quite self-contemptuous – I felt I was nothing compared to all these top performers in my same class.   I stayed at the National Team for about a year and half, but I start to want to quit soon after I got there. The purpose I joined the team was to be able to participate in some international games, such as the World University Games and the World Championship or such, but the spot promised to me in those games were taken by others and I ended up not being able to participate in any of those international games.   It was quite a blow for me – what was the point of staying there then? I thought about returning to the Tianjin Team. My coach tried very hard to talk my out of this idea, as there were still many future opportunities if I stay.  I was 22 years old then and already had a boyfriend, so I did not wanted to train any more. Nor did I see a career future, as I did not see myself having any outstanding performance. My coach finally said “Alright, but after the London Olympics.”   I was counting days during the one and half year at the National Team. I trained very hard every day, but still cannot be as good as others.   In 2011, my father passed away. That was huge blow to me. When he was sick, I comforted him by saying I was going to participate in international games, but actually I did not really go to international games of much influence. I felt so angry and upset at myself, yet could do nothing about it. The two coaches in Tianjin, one chief coach and the other my direct coach, took turns to encourage me. They posed an essential question to me, “If you quite, then what do you do?”   Marriage and having a daughter while at a loss   If I don’t do weightlifting, then what do I do? What could I do?   All these years as an athlete, I know nothing but weightlifting. I was quite lost and doesn’t know what I was capable of d. I told my boyfriend about this and he said, “Once you’re retired, let’s get married.”   A quick introduction of my boyfriend – he was also a weightlifting athlete. But we did not know each other from the training.  Actually he was a more senior trainee of my coach. As mentioned above, my coach used to coach the males, but later on coached the females, of which I was  among the first cohort. My boyfriend often comes back to visit my coach at his spare time and during important holidays, and that’s how we met each other and got acquainted.   After the National Games in 2013, I finally quit the training and started a yoga studio with a senior teammate. My boyfriend then wanted to get married and talked to me frankly, “We have been together for years. How about we getting married?” I thought this guy was quite reliable so it doesn’t take long before I say Yes! In 2014 we got married and had our first child the next year. Everything seemed rather natural…   Inner conflict of having the second child   My life so far has been just smooth. In a blink of an eye, my kid is already three, and she can go to kindergarten.      Then I thought it was about the time I return to workplace and be excused from the baby caring duty, which is more exhausting than work. Long-time-stay at home also bring occasional conflicts with family, particularly with parents-in-law. The two generations have distinctive parenting methods, and thus there are always frictions. Actually, all these years after marriage, I barely had any conflicts with them aside from parenting issues. Now that the kid could go to kindergarten, I felt as free as a bird. I figure that I no longer have to think about family matters and can devote myself to the yoga studio I love.   But not long after I had this thought, here comes my second child… When I just learned about my pregnancy, I was rather tangled. And it feels like getting kicked back into the rock bottom after just risen to the top. Ever after getting married, my focus changed to family; although I never stopped being involved in the yoga business, I did not have much external contact. Staying at home, I also accumulate negative moods, and sometimes when I lose my temper would complained to my husband, “Why does it have to be Me who sacrifice? Why is it Me who has to stay at home?”   My husband is busy with his start-up, and therefore can’t be very considerate to me at times. He insists on having the baby, even though I was not much willing to. Due to the unstable pregnancy hormone, the first month of my pregnancy I was rather hesitating. Besides, my morning sickness was strong, same as the first pregnancy, and I could not even tolerate the smell of rice. That made me vomit a lot and was quite suffering. The second child was also unexpected so I was just resistant, which made it even worse.   Fortunately, the continuous propaganda from my husband on the positives of having two kids eventually worked. Three months into pregnancy, I had a much more stable condition, and I turned to accept the reality of having a second baby. At the time of eight-month-pregnancy, I closed my yoga studio; and in 2018, my second child was born.   Work and study during the pandemic   At the end of 2019, the Nation implemented the policy that would assign jobs to formal national athletes like myself post their athletic career. So I felt I was pretty lucky… There were about two or three hundreds athletes waiting to be assigned a job, and I was ranked just over the first hundred. Per the policy, we could select our job according to our athletic achievement, and most were assigned to schools to be PE teacher.   Same with me, I was assigned the job of PE teacher at a vocational high school. However not long after I joined that school, there comes the year 2020 and the pandemic. Right after  registration with the school I started to work-from-home. With limited formal teaching experience, I was uneasy – training was my thing, but not teaching. Being a teacher without much knowledge of teaching, I was quite lost.     Just as I had the thought to study, I came across Dushu365 . I applied for a program sponsored by them and the Champion Foundation(CF), got admitted. I felt fabulous, as if I’ve found a home I really belong to. I started to learn about physical and mental development of the young, which complements my current job. Then I participated in more activities organized by the CF, which enriched myself greatly. Post-pandemic, people could easily get anxious, and such learning activities compensate for my lack of knowledge as a result of athletic career. Meanwhile, my career as a teacher is gradually getting on track.   Meeting the champion foundation was just like finding a belonging home.   Coach or Mom   As a mother of two kids, I sometimes have bad temper when they were naughty. But as I read those parenting books, I start to realize that kids think differently from adults, and come to think in their shoes and understand the reasons behind their behavior.   For example, tutoring kids’ study is a headache to many parents. There was a time when I pick up mistakes in my daughter’s homework and she reacted quite defensively, making me really annoyed. I forced myself not to spank; and waited until she finished and said, “Dear, come and talk to mom, why did you behave like that just now? Why didn’t you listen to mom no matter what I said?” Then I would analyze the situation together with her…     And she responded, “Mom, I’m just a bit tired.”   I told her, “If tired, you could tell mom and have a break first. But it is not good to behave like that, which makes me misunderstand you…”   Such communication worked very well. It enhanced much my relationship with my children.   As a mother of two, my state of mind changed from resistant to peaceful even enjoyable. It was them who changed me. Sometimes when I see them fight for a moment, then reconcile and kiss and hug each other with fun and harmony, I felt thankful that they are have companion. My husband would also start to make fun of me, saying “You should really thank my persistence; if not because of that, our junior would never had even come to our family. Now look how lovely they are…”      Indeed, it is rather joyful to see them together, and that feeling is called happiness.     Surmount the low moments of life   Life is just like that – sometimes you think you couldn’t’ get over with this one, but after living through it, you find that juts a little bit more persistence, and you are able to carry on again.     What is the goal of life? Perhaps just like weightlifting, during the 16 years as an athlete, many times I felt I couldn’t do it anymore, but I will keep gritting my teeth and pushing through, however when it becomes truly unbearable, I may have to let go and accept that it's time to give up.   The game that left me the most impression was possibly the last one in my athlete career. At that time, my performance had plunged to an all-time bottom, even my coach back in Hunan Province was disappointed to see my slashed condition. But that moment I felt I could not give up, and no matter what I had to lift it up – I was doing the “Clean and jerk”, and in the middle of that, I actually already struggled to get further up. But I said to myself, “No, this is my last game. I have to get up with it.”     Yes, with just a grit of teeth, I made it.

Interviewed by Jane Li and Margaret Nie 18-Year-Old Girls Laugh When They See a Leaf Move There's a song sung by the Dong people that says, "an 18-year-old girl laughs when she sees a leaf move!" When I was a girl, I was really happy. Really happy. I grew up with three older siblings. I had two sisters and one brother. At that time, although my family was poor, I was the favourite. My siblings did not want me to work, and saved the most delicious food for me. I grew up so carefree. When I was in junior high school, I got sick and took a year off. At the same time, my dad got sick, too, which was really hard for an already poor family. So, when I finished the third grade and got into high school, things were  really difficult financially. My father said he would get me a suspension for the time being, and they would let me continue my studies when we had money again. Father Said: Education Can Change Our Fate My father is also a village teacher. He feels strongly that all children  should have access to a good education - to improve their lives and change their fate. However my mother said we could not afford to educate me and felt that education for girls was not important. When I was growing up in rural Huaihua, many girls did not progress past junior high school. I also decided to drop out of school because my family had to pay for my brother's health school tuition, and educating us both was beyond the reach of the average family in those days. I dropped out of high school after one semester and didn't continue, which is something I now regret. If I had stuck with it for another year or two, when the financial situation improved, and resumed my  high school education and gone to university, perhaps my life would have been different. I think maybe it's fate. I don't blame my parents, but they often blame themselves for it. I often tell them I was lucky enough to finish my junior high school education. To me, life will inevitably have some regrets. After Dropping Out of School, I Kept on Studying In 1997, whilst I was a substitute teacher in my village, I  met a young man from the same village. Our relationship slowly developed until we married and had children. After I got married, I realised that life was different to me. My husband comes from a poor family where there was often not enough food. When I was growing up, although we were not wealthy, we were adequately  fed and clothed. After my brother graduated from medical school and went to work,  our family’s financial situation improved. But after I got married, I still had to worry about not having enough food. When I didn't grow enough food, I still had to go out and buy it, living on very little money. The Hard Times Will Pass Living with parents-in-law, it is inevitable there will be some unpleasant moments. When things were really difficult, I looked at my little daughter and gathered energy from her. We worked very hard to earn money, carefully planned our expenses, and hoped the future would be brighter. I remember one time I had a quarrel with my husband when my daughter was only about 7 months old. I was so angry that I ran back to my mother's house and didn't take my daughter with me. My husband realised he was wrong and called me to apologise. He then came and picked me up. I told him I was really sad, and was worried about my daughter, so I went home. On returning home I discovered my child had run a fever in my absence and I blamed myself. I decided then that, no matter what, I would stay with my child and never leave her. The Support of Family is the Best Backing Later, when my daughter was seven years old, my husband and I planned to have a second child and our son was born soon after. His arrival made me even busier. Having another child was hard work but I was very happy. Life is like this - bitter and sweet. I remember I once planted rice seedlings and wanted to take advantage of the moonlight and get everything planted in one night, so was working very late. My  three year-old son ran to me at the edge of the field with a flashlight and said ‘Mom, I'm going to take you home with my flashlight. Come on, don't do it now. Do it tomorrow. Come home.’ I remember feeling so happy. I was so exhausted, but when I heard the kids, all my exhaustion was gone. Teaching in the village elementary school comes with a heavy workload. To improve our financial situation, my husband went to Guangdong to work, so the children were sometimes neglected. My parents-in-law came to help and I am so very grateful to them for this, especially my father-in-law. He used to be a teacher, so was very understanding of how hard things were for me. Sometimes he would say to my mother-in-law, "You see, she has a class at school, she works so hard and still needs to take care of the children. Don’t give her the housework.” Both my father and father-in-law are former teachers, so they understand the pressures of my job and are more open-minded than others of the older generation. See the Children Left Behind in the Village Because of their support, I was more comfortable working at the school. In our small village, there were many families whose lives were more difficult than ours. Some families had no grandparents to help with the children and so they had to take care of themselves while their parents worked. There are two students in our school in fourth and fifth grades. Their parents work in Guangdong to make ends meet and can only come home during the spring festival. Their grandparents are gone and so life is hard. The children are unattended  and must rely on neighbours or other relatives in the village to take care of them. For such small children, going to school alone, as well as doing their own cooking and washing, is so hard. Year after year, they only see their parents at new year for a few days. The children cry their hearts out when their parents are leaving and I cannot get rid of that picture in my mind. The children were left unattended all year round. Their faces were dirty and black. One day if the children's clothes and faces were suddenly clean, we knew their parents had come back. They were so happy I could feel their joy in all they said and did. Children need to be fed and clothed, but they also need the company of their parents. Nothing is a substitute for their parents' love. Parents' Sense of Companionship is Constantly Changing Previously, many rural parents did not realise the importance of physically being with their children and believed that providing food and clothes was enough. They did not know that without emotional care from their parents children can develop mental health difficulties. I have been a teacher in the countryside for many years and understand the suffering of both children and adults. I am very happy to see the government and public welfare organisations paying more attention to our village. Our village has set up a library with the help of an NGO so the children have more entertainment and cultural programs at weekends. I have joined the library as a volunteer, and really enjoy supporting and caring for those children left behind. Social Support has Made our Village Better and Better Because there is more social support, the lives of people in our village has also become richer. This is very good for our village and the children in the surrounding area. They have more contact with the outside world,  and their horizons have broadened. I've been asked if I want to be a woman in the next life. We have a song in our community that says, "In the next life, if you're going to be a bird, you're going to be a male bird.". But I still feel happy to be a woman. After graduating from college, my daughter became a teacher. She teaches at a school in our town. My family have been teachers for three generations - from my father, to me and now to my daughter. It’s an honourable profession. I love my job. I hope, through our work, we can help more village children get out of the mountains and into the wider world. Only education can change their present situation and give them more possibilities and opportunities. To help more children to learn, and to learn better. I think this is my mission.

Interviewed by Caixiu Zhou My name is Judy, from Brighton, England and now living in Kunming. I have been in China for nine years, teaching as a kindergarten teacher. My husband and I got married a few years ago and we have a little daughter who’s now two years old. I’m taking some time out of work to study and also spend some time with my daughter while she’s so young. Answered by Judy Can you share one of the most important events in your life? Judy: Having my daughter was definitely an important moment. I think it so empowering to give birth actually because I was not so sure if I was able to and because of the complications with the birth. But it will always be a memory. And of course marrying my husband is important too. Could you tell us a little bit more about the birth and complications? Judy: At the beginning I was likely to have a C section which I didn’t feel comfortable with it personally because I had in my mind a vision that I would give birth naturally. But when it came to it, I was actually able to embrace it. There was a lot of blood loss afterwards, which is fine because they were able to fix it up. I just stayed in the hospital a bit longer. Most importantly she is healthy. My husband was scared and shocked. Was your husband with you at that moment or was he waiting outside? Judy: He was with me. In China, hospitals don’t allow the husbands to be in the room, but we asked, and the hospital approved. I could see from his eyes that he was panicked. But the doctors were amazing, and they helped me so much. I think my husband was just overwhelmed when they gave him the baby. He even said that the whole experience was so weird. For a mom, I think you can prepare to have a baby more than a man. It’s hard for a dad at the beginning. We have a different connection (with the baby). How do you feel when you became a mother? Judy: Obviously excited and happy but honestly, I think I am very overwhelmed. I don’t think anything can prepare you to be a mom, even If people tell you that you get no sleep and feeding issues. Everyone’s journey is so different, and the struggle is really real. People don’t think about it enough at the beginning. At the same time, I am feeling grateful and part of me is feeling lonely too. Photo from internet. What does it mean to you to be a mom? Judy: That changes every day. As a mom you can never switch off. Even though now my daughter’s two, 90% I am being a mom. I need to work on striking a balance. Even when you are not with your child, you have got to think about all the things that maybe your child would need and also you may be doing things for your child when they are not with you. I think that will change when they get older like four or five years old when they go to kindergarten. But for now our children are so young and rely on us. You are still yourself, but your social life and things like that all change because you have a child to carry. What is the biggest difference in your life before and after giving birth? Judy: one of the biggest things is freedom and being spontaneous. Before having a child, you can go for dinner tonight with your husband and a holiday at the last minute. But now you have to think and plan a bit more like where you are going to go because you can’t bring a baby to do a facial or do your nails. You always have someone with you. What impact does your baby have in your life and work? Judy: I worry a lot more about the future, like stability and where we will be going to live. We are living in China, but this is not our home forever. Also, schooling is so important to me, like how we can provide the best education for her as well as be present parents to be there for her when she needs us. Also, there are other worries such as climate change, about what the environment will look like for the children in the future, something quite important to me in terms of health and eating and how we can better this world for our children. Photo from internet. About stability: Stability is important to me because my parents got divorced when I was eleven. My life since then felt unstable. I was changing schools and moving countries a lot. Because of that, it’s important for me to make sure that my daughter has stability. But right now, because she is so young, it’s ok for us to try and be more adventurous now. When she gets older, I want her to feel that everything is stable like schools are not changing and mom and dad are happy. About guilt: There is also a bit of guilt that we live here (in Kunming) , that we choose to live away from our parents. But at the same time, I think living in China is giving the children a great opportunity as well. It’s good here for children to learn another language. So, they are also benefiting from living abroad. The greatness and challenge about being a mom: The greatness is you have unconditional love for a human being you created. I feel lucky because a lot of my friends cannot have babies. I felt grateful that we are lucky enough to have a healthy daughter. The challenge is for my daughter. She just turned two and challenges like the tantrum, not wanting to sleep, fighting, are keeping up with her because she is changing so much, and I have to learn with her. It’s strange because I think mom naturally change as well. When they go through these phases it’s hard to understand at that time, but we get used to it. They grow up so fast and we forget about it. Work-life Balance: Trying to find a balance between career and family is the hardest thing for me. I gave up working when she was one, but I found it a struggle to work. I felt really guilty when I was working because I wasn’t spending time with her. Sometimes it’s important to you to have something for you. If work is what makes you happy, then you can have part of that. it is also important that children see what makes their mom and dad happy. Children learn these important things in life through their parents. So it is important that we have something for ourselves. Now my daughter goes to school three days a week and I look after her the rest of the week because I feel like this is the good balance for her to have her freedom but also, I feel ok being able to look after her. This is a good time for us to work out what’s the best balance for us. Photo from internet. The difference between fatherhood and motherhood: I think we just have different roles. Daddy is the fun daddy who comes back to work and play with babies. I personally am more serious because I have to make sure she eats health meals and hits her milestones, do a lot of readings and exercise. Her connection with me is longer because I spend more time with her. Fatherhood and motherhood together work well. It’s interesting to see in the future who they talk to more, about feelings and personal things. Who will my daughter talk to about her future boyfriend, me or my husband? I hope she will see me as a friend. What makes you happy and worry? I always love the little gesture. Seeing my daughter laugh and smile, and my husband joking makes me happy. Exercise is also important to me because it makes my mood better. I feel more positive after doing yoga or going for a long walk, being under the sun. And healthy eating has a big impact on my mood as well. In terms of worries, it is personally just ensuring I’m going to be good enough for my daughter to make sure she has the best version of a mommy. I Just don’t know how to always be the best for her. When children turn 16 or emotion, I hope I know what to say. We have to learn. My husband and I were talking the other day about what we are going to do when she comes home one day and says she has a boyfriend. My husband may become very shocked when she goes out. We have a long way to learn, so we’ll be fine. Chinese education vs. Western education: That’s very hard. Culturally we are different in Europe from China. In Chinese culture, you have to finish school, you must go to a university, you have to get married and have a baby straight after that. In Europe we are able to have a bit more freedom about what we choose in life. If you don’t want to get married, then it’s your choice. I know that here the parents mean well and they want to protect their children. But children need to learn themselves. Education is important learning about sex education. It’s needed in China. Vulnerability: In any relationship, you have to be vulnerable for it to work. You have to  show that you are vulnerable to your partner. When we have disagreement, he can see that I am vulnerable but that’s part of the relationship as well. I also feel a bit powerless living in china right now when we are not able to go home because my daughter hasn’t seen her grandparents. The biggest challenge for moms in your community: Being an expat here, I would say it’s cultural differences. I didn’t really notice it so much before having our baby. I realize we do differently in a lot of things, like zuoyuezi (note: a postpartum period when Chinese mothers rest at home). I couldn't really understand that. In that period, you are supposed to stay at home, wear socks, and you are not allowed to wash your hair. I can see the benefit of the Chinese needing to do these. I personally could not do it. I can’t stay in the house for more than one day. Even after my daughter was born, I was wearing flip flop. I remember a grandma coming to me and saying, you can’t do this. And I wanted to take a shower in the hospital, but I couldn't. I think the older generation judges more than the younger. here is another story that, when we took our daughter back home, we went for a walk and she was in her buggy, a grandma came to us and asked how old she is. I replied 4 days old, and they could not believe it. The next day everyone knew about this foreign baby, and they gossiped and said this new baby can't go outside. And also you are not supposed to keep pets when you have a baby. Some people couldn't understand why we have three dogs still. Final advice: As a mom, we prepare a lot about how to give birth, like first aid class in the beginning. But there aren’t many classes about how to be a good mother, not just about breastfeeding or changing, but how emotionally and how important to be present in your children’s life, and how to be a better mother. You can read a lot of books about this, but having a group of moms talk about this is one of the best things that could help parents, like checking in, giving a little gesture, or popping around with a cup of tea to talk.

Editor's Note Marie is from Philippines, a country of over 7000 islands, beautiful beaches, delicious fruit and smiling people. Marie is an English teacher and a mother of five children. During her overloaded motherhood journey, she’s been able to work online and also savor her joy-filled family life. As a member of Beijing moms community, Marie heard about GMI’s project MomStory100. She joined our initiative by submitting her own story. We want to thank her for the courage and for her trust in mom power (MomQ).GMI intends to build relationships that are natural and casual, less formal and more authentic. The MomStories are meant to reflect the reality and bring the reader as close to the author’s journey as possible. Our editorial team's attitude to make a little progress each day is indeed adding up to bigger results and GMI is being seen by more and more people, and moms. And here we are, not only supporting moms around the globe, but also being supported by them, which is wonderful. Answered by Mari Please tell us about yourself? I am a mom of 5 kids and I teach ESL online to students all over the world. Can you share at least one of the most important events happened in your life? The most important event that happened in my life is when I met my husband and we created a beautiful family. Do you think you know yourself? Why you think so? How do you know? I feel that I know myself well, to know what I like and dislike.  Life is progressive and growth is inevitable and I am still excited to grow and learn about the world and myself. Can you remember the times when you had no children? Can you recall your feelings and your aspirations? What were your ups and downs back then? I remember when I was still single, I only cared about how I looked, my career and how to achieve it. I was wild and kept on pushing my boundaries even more. If I fail, I kept on going until I reach my goal one step at a time.When I was young I felt that my grades and friends are where my ups and downs come from and when I finished college and now working, I feel like there’s so much more than grades and friends, there are work relationships, romantic relationships, family and social media. What's the biggest difference or what was the major change between life with moms' identity and life without mom's identity? I thought that when I was still single, I was so sure about what kind of mom, I will be and what I will not be. During my first 3 years of being a mom, it was challenging but since I finished a science major course,I know what to expect and how to apply all things that are necessary starting from kid behavioral swings, alleviating pain and illness, what to do for each tantrum episodes. Oh, how I was wrong to think that after three years everything will be easy, you still have to deal with school, homework, birthday parties, extracurricular activities, friends, school mom groups and more! What being a mom means to you? If you were a circle, how much of it would be occupied by mom’s identity (%) ? I have always dreamt of becoming a mom.I believe there is no perfect mom but in the eyes of your children, you are perfect! I always put my motherhood at the center of everything that I do. It is true that motherhood will take your whole life but conscious effort is the key to putting them in balance. What impact does motherhood have on your work, career, life, and Family? Motherhood has helped me become more responsible for all my actions and thoughts, how my kid would behave might have a big impact on how I behave, whenever I am around them. I should be accountable for all my actions that can be seen by my kids, this also includes being a mother to my kids and being a wife to my husband so they have an idea of what a family looks like - it is not always perfect but a happy family in general. Back to your current life (including both personal and professional aspects): What worries you the most? Aside, from the environmental change that is going on,I worry about the mental state of my family. The rapid changes brought about by pandemic such as routines, face-to-face activities, social interaction and even preparing the simplest home cook meal can give me worries. What makes you happy? I feel happy whenever I see my family happy.Whenever we do simple activities like cooking pizza, baking cupcakes, playing video games or sports and be able to bond with them. What makes you vulnerable? I feel powerless when I see one of my kids sick or in a bad mood. What gives you hope? I feel hopeful when I dream and plan for the future. From your perspective, what do you think is the biggest obstacle or difficulty to the moms around you or in your country/where you live? I believe that being too protective of a kid can be the biggest obstacle because it can lessen the kid's imagination. Can you give an example? When I was young, there were so many things that are not allowed to do.I can’t run too fast, I can’t wear the clothes that I want, I can’t swing too high, never eat street food, and I always have to wear skirts. If there is an afterlife, would you still want to be a mother? Why? Why not? It is such a blessing to be the first teacher of kids, the first role model of kids and be able to show my kids how to love and be loved and become a better person. What would be the greatest thing that an organization/project can do for you? It is so great to be able to connect to other moms who have the same experience and be able to relate to other people’s stories who also experience things that I went through and will go through and I am never alone in the motherhood journey. For moms who may need advise with ESL teaching or needs tutoring services, please contact me. How can we improve our work at GMI to better identify and highlight needs of moms? Please share your suggestions for the MomStory100 project? Having online event meetings can also help moms with title such as, “how to handle stress during pandemic”. Do’s and don’t during family outings and more.

By Thao Nguyen Beijing – GMI Founder Jane Li knows how hard and challenging it is to become a mother when she started her maternity journey nine years ago. Witnessing a lot of obstacles with which a mom has to face has urged Li to start her GMI journey. “The pressure of trying to balance everything while still having enough time for family life made me think about how we could support each other better,” said Li, “I am shocked by many suicides in our community such as moms jumping off buildings, even some of them who were pregnant at that time.” GMI was launched in Sep 2021 when the pandemic hit hard in China and around the world. That was the time when women, especially those who were in their maternity and early motherhood stage were stroked harshly. Job loss, unstable income, kid, and family’s health crises were major negative consequences, which subsequently led them to exhaustion, said Li. With a lofty vision of creating an equal world where global moms can reach their full potential, GMI’s mission is to inspire and motivate every mom to achieve her goals and facilitate her journey by providing relevant resources, programs, and mentorship. Making motherhood a pathway to further success Conventional wisdom suggests that motherhood is the tipping point in a woman’s life stage, said Denise Valenti a communications officer in Princeton University, where women are expected to leave their labor force and trade-off between family and social life. Because of that situation, the idea of “MomQ” is created by GMI as an exclusive index, besides IQ and EQ, to indicate mom’s power and leadership capability. The primary objective of setting this index is to reshape public perception towards women in their motherhood stage. Subsequently, it provides employers a fresh yet fair evaluation of women’s employability post-maternity. It also increases moms’ confidence and revamp their sanguine level in both professional and personal life. In order to develop and bring about the application of “MomQ” index, GMI established a #MomQActionResearch, a non-profit research institution run by scholars and professors from prestigious universities in China, to constantly conduct pertinent research and analysis of moms’ characteristics and needs. The critical findings from their research can be generalized to redefine moms’ identities and better shape the index. To achieve that goal, GMI launched the first social program named “MomStory100” one month after the organization was born to encourage moms to share their stories of life struggles, feelings, and dreams. The program is operated on social media platforms like Facebook and WeChat.  Furthermore, “MomStory100” leverages those stories as a touch point to raise voices for moms’ justice and increase public’s awareness of moms’ true identities and developmental needs. Later that year, GMI introduced a Mom Writer Prize to incentivize more moms to participate in this program and spread out its brand awareness. The success of “MomStory100” has motivated Li and her team to launch the second initiative called “MomCEO100”, a women and mom entrepreneur empowerment plan. The purpose of “MomCEO100” is to provide relevant training and resources for female entrepreneurs in their early stage of start-ups such as peer mentoring, business toolkits, coach, and counsellors. The club’s membership has a privilege to connect with industry influencers, top-notch investors, and venture capital firms. Created by Thao Nguyen, GBJ reporter. Jun 2023. A social eco-system to accelerate moms’ success GMI has evolved to become a one-stop hub providing full-stack resources for moms to get her prepared, gear up and speed up her momentum of goal achievement. All those resources are linked together and complement each other to provide moms a full suite of knowledge, skill sets and network. They include “MomStory100” as a social sharing channel, “MomCEO100” as a business-oriented vocational hub, “Jobs4Moms” as an employment “agent”, “MomDesign100” as an educational hub targeting at sustainable designers from beginner to intermediate level, and “Space4Moms” as an offline community for social networking and supporting. In detail, “MomStory100” aids moms and women entrepreneurs from the “MomCEO100” club with storytelling skills so that they can develop their business narratives or sharing motivational stories to inspire them to achieve business success. “MomCEO100”, on the other hand, powers the “MomDesign100” in their seed stage businesses by providing one-on-one mentorship, vocational training workshops and networking. “Jobs4Moms” was born as a third-party platform or a “job agent” to connect moms with flexible and mom-friendly jobs across industries. Mom-friendly jobs mean they give moms several choices from either a part-time TikTok anchor host, a full-time business development coordinator or even a part-time office cleaner. This program specifically supports moms who have lost their jobs during the pandemic, the recently mass layoffs, or during their maternity leave to increase their financial security and social confidence. Members from “MomCEO100” or “MomDesign100” can also refer to this channel to increase their brands’ exposure or seeking for further employment opportunities. Commercialization Empowers Sustainable Development The most common question that any NGO or social enterprises are frequently asked is how they get funded to sustain their organizations. GMI Founder shares that she aims to build GMI as a social eco-system not only for empowering moms, but also for members’ businesses’ connection and development. It means via GMI’s eco-system hub’s professional network, their partners have high chances of being connected with relevant business opportunities like new clients or potential employers. Thanks to that, if they succeed, they are encouraged to donate ten percent of any revenue generating from that collaboration to GMI’s “Ten Percent Giving” club, said Li. “We also call our schemes social business programs where we link social services, businesses and resources to support each other, reinforce each other’s opportunities, and ultimately to keep the momentum of our community.” Therefore, commercialization, in GMI’s regard, can be interpreted as a way of a social “return-on-investment” mechanism, where GMI “invests” in each member so that they have a willingness to “return”. Those “returns” are counted as an impetus to motivate GMI’s members to keep contributing and growing their community. GMI team organized “Run4Moms” activity in Mar to celebrate International Women Day. Photo by GMI’s video channel. Mar 2023. Social Capitalism and Time Banking As the name social eco-system suggests, GMI Founder leverages their non-financial resources of social capital to fund her NGO, and human capital is her primary resource. In this sense, human capital comes from connections and contribution of their members and partners. From time to time, all the positive outcomes resulting from their activities are used as stimuli to not only fight for moms’ equality, but also support associated partners’ businesses with relevant networking opportunities. In GMI, the “Ten Percent Giving” club is a mechanism of generating social capital, said Li. Talking about human capital, since GMI is mostly run by partnership and volunteers, Li introduces a “100 Hour Club” to acknowledge every volunteer’s contribution when they spend 100 hours for GMI. This scheme is developed upon the “time-banking” principle, which is according to Li still not yet a prevalent concept in the development world. However, by applying this principle, is it a noteworthy milestone for each volunteer to reflect on their commitment and values. Theoretically, social capitalism is defined as any capitalist system that is structured with the ideology of liberty, equality, and justice. It explicitly values all forms of capital such as social capital, human capital, nature capital. “Instead of maximizing profit for the 1%, it involves profit maximization for all of society,” wrote Tristan Claridge. So, what is “time banking”? According to Investopia, time banking is a trading system for services, where people exchange their labor-time based credits with each other instead of money, or in other words, time is seen as a token to trade among people. It means one person can exchange their time of repairing one’s home in a return for their help to take care of their children. It can be considered as a community currency in which every citizen can benefit from using it. The term “time banking” was coined and trademarked by American lawyer Edgar Cahn, who advocated its use to supplement government’s social services such as elderly care. In China, “Time-banking” has been facilitated by Beijing government and Shanghai Municipal for supporting the elderly amid the aging dilemma, said Global Times. “It’s kind of a resource exchange system, which is in parallel with money system,” said Li. Moreover, it is people’s good will and resource to do, and people can gain more than lost because they want to improve their skills or expand their human capital for their businesses via networking which can be done by offering their resources to help others. How is “time banking” applied in GMI? Li creates a timesheet excel file to track every volunteer’s work and time per project. It’s a way to measure their contribution and work, said Li. The “coin” returned to them is their social return such as exclusive access to unavailable resources or networking to potential employers or partners. “If you complete 100 hours for our GMI and being recorded on the system, you become our permanent members who can have exclusive access to our prioritized benefits,” said Li, “like link to your new jobs or investors.” Moreover, GMI Founder shares her ambition to transform this NGO to a transnational social enterprise in the future. Therefore, in long-run, those volunteers and partners who are “coined” with “100 Hour” time-banking “notes” could have a chance to become their shareholders. By that time, their contribution can be converted to a more concrete and tangible value rewards. Li closed the interview with a charming smile and confidently believed in the good causes GMI has generated for society in the race for gender equality, as well as the positive impacts that GMI has brought about for moms globally.

Interviewed by Caixiu Zhou My name is Tami I have two children, my son Ethan is fifteen and my daughter is two. I'm an anthropologist, I do research in Southwest China. I've been lived in Kunming, and I've also just spent a lot of time going to and from northwest Yunnan, and southwest Sichuan.I am based in the United States in South Carolina now. The new identify they give me It's such a huge transition in my life. When I first had my son, it was so many years ago well fifteen right. He made me into a mother like you become a different person. When you take responsibility for someone else, and it was just a completely profound transformation. And then you know you learn along with your child, like each phase you need to figure out how to be a good parent and how to support what they need. Also to find the difference between what your child needs and wants and what you might think is good for them or what you might project your own wishes onto them. So, I really learn so much from him and lots of patience for sure, as well as is marvelling it has you know creativity and his bravery and his sense of humor and just fearlessness. Then with my daughter, it was a very different circumstance. She was born during Covid and I was so excited to be pregnant again and looking forward to her birth. At the same time the whole circumstance of Covid and everything else just a lot of change in my own life. It made me apprehensive as well. Because of that I worked really hard to kind of re learn what it meant to give birth and draw the strength that I could from the stories of other people, because I did forget a lot from the first time round so many years before. By the time that she was ready to come out I just felt very empowered I would say. And I had just really gathered my team and gathered my resources, put photos around. She was born in a home birth which was very special and so it's been really magical with her. I think because of Covid and because the rest of the world really slowed down and even shut down, while she was tiny, I was able to really immerse myself in parenting. I felt a lot of pressure to do other things when my son was little, but with her was like okay this is going to consume all your time and you know to be strong just keep up your strength and keep up your energy, and just like really kind of immerse yourself and becoming a parent again. Of course I'm still parenting my son. Also is this just very special as well as a very emotional time. Special experience during pandemic Normally when people talk about giving birth at the pandemic time, they feel depressed or anxious because like everybody's locked down and they can't go out. But for me, because of the pandemic, I have a lot more time with my children. Absolutely I was anxious and apprehensive. My daughter’s due date was May 8th, in the United States everything shut down on March 16th. that was when we found out there's no more school and that's kind of our days, and that's actually my birthday also so it was kind a dramatic moment where it was like okay this world is changing very fast and there is a period where the hospitals were only letting one person in. Like basically they're only letting the mother in and no one could come with.  We know from best practices, that this is a terrible thing to do to a mother especially when the staff were so scared of catching Covid, that everybody was just really limited contact. This was in 2020, because of that there was actually a birth course through Facebook, the course developer made it free as a kind of reaction against this horrible policy and also part of an activist stance. She is both a midwife and a mother I believe, it was such a treat to be able to immerse in this community and in this kind of weekly wisdom passing. I felt you know because it was so difficult and such a challenging time that I was able to really kind of leaning into that challenge. I remember with my son he was born in a birth center and the design of the birth center was you birthed the baby, you kind of clean up a little bit and you rest very little bit and then within a short time you go back to home. It was literally six hours after he was born that we went back home. I remember just leaving the birth center was in a business center, places a bakery of people getting coffee and we left something like 6 am maybe it was 8 am, people were getting coffee, getting breakfast, and it was so strange to see the world just continue, when like everything was different I mean I had just birthed this amazing baby. It was very strange to me that the whole world wasn't just stopping everything. With my daughter, she was born we didn't leave, we stayed put for a long time. Also the different model where the midwife came to us. So okay I literally didn't leave the place where she was born for a long time and there was no expectation that I should because of the pandemic ,I appreciated that. Being a mom completely reshapes who you are I think being a mom completely reshapes who you are. I'm still who I was before, and again with the pandemic it enabled me to continue being involved professionally and active professionally in a way that I just couldn't before. I remember with my son I was in graduate school at the time, there was a big conference that I would have loved to come to, but there was no way I could do it, you know he was very little, maybe two months old and I just couldn't manage that. Then with my daughter like everything amazingly moved online, like you could go to conference's online, you could listen to webinars, you could do support groups online. With my son we went to a group for new moms and babies, but it was really hard to get there, it was about a thirty-minute drive, he would cry a lot on the way in the car. It was two hours there, so it was enough time that it felt worth it but then you know thirty minutes back home. It just felt like an ordeal but with her it was like you just log on and you can mute yourself if you need to, you can disconnect or reconnect, and it was just beautiful to be able to be still connected socially but not need to physically go through all of the movement. When she was even a little older, and we had done sleep training and so she was sleeping through the night. I even was able to do some interviews. I worked as a consultant for an evaluation company and I conducted interviews with faculty in all different parts of the world. I think that it's you know like you say there's so many decisions along the way. I used to work at a university full time and I'm really glad I was able to do that. I’m also really glad I’m no longer doing that now that my daughter is little. I'm still doing a lot of projects it's the kind of thing where if I get to the end of the day and I just can't you know master the energy to finish something. It's not like I have a whole set of students waiting for me to hand the papers back, there's a little bit less pressure and a little less urgency. I recognize more that it's just a brief period where she's so little, it's okay to kind of step back a little bit from work and enjoy those moments before returning to the kind of intense professional life. They are the best gift ever in my life There’re so many beautiful moments right and just you know the snuggles and the laughter and just thing your child's personality come out, just realizing like you know this little person is a part of you. I was talking about how my daughter is learning Chinese and also learning English at the same time and this afternoon we were doing some sorting and she was playing in a different part of the kitchen then came over to where she was and there were papers all over. As I was making it messy before it became organized again and she said wow  乱七八糟的, and it's so funny because you know gosh how do you even translate that like,  it's just a very colloquial expression, just things all over the place. I teach her Chinese at home, so you know clearly I'd say that she picked it up and she used it so appropriately so this is so fun to see how her mind is developing and tell us all working’ I mean that's the great thing is just to watch your children learn and grow and handle frustrations and handle challenges. Those changelings we have to face as mum In terms of the challenges, I mean there's so many. Right like yesterday when I put her for a nap and just trying to be patient, recognizing that she's doing the best she can. I think that's the thing everybody's doing the best they can and is this part about giving each other the grace to feel respected and feel loved and nurture each other as you go forward. The more you realize is that you're worked up about that the more he's going to resist but sometimes it's just about backing off and just letting it be and then sometimes coming sideways. Actually this morning my daughter didn't really touch her breakfast and we had to leave to walk her brother to the bus and we just didn't have time to have a fight over it, so I just said okay you know you're not eating let's go and then when we came back a little later, we kind of talked about on the walk like maybe we'll go back and we'll have some more breakfast when we get back, she sort of got used to the idea and then when we got back she did eat all of her breakfast and refills. I think sometimes it's just about making them think it's their idea. It's giving them the space because probably she wasn't hungry enough when she first got up. We're about to start a new school year for her, so I am at the point now she is almost two and a half and I am at the point where I'm ready to go back to do more work. In fact, I'm already doing more work and it's just getting more challenging to balance and so just wanting to make sure it's a school she is returning to, so it's a really good environment and she's got good teachers but it's just a new start, so I feel a little bit of the loss of being able to spend so much time together. You know in Chinese there's expression like 交给老师， you know I'm kind of handing her back over to the teacher and just hoping I can trust that. Also the Chinese I am so proud of her that she's learned so much because she's at the age or she's just picking up so much language. Because we're spending so much time together picking up all the Chinese from me but then as soon as she spends more time with the teachers, she'll pick up more and more English from. I just hope I can help her sustain the kind of Chinese language that is developed. Enjoy every moment. Just being able to breathe into this time. I'm just enjoying the moments. I think that because of the space between my children, again I just realized how brief the little, tiny phases and so I'm just trying to take things slow and enjoy with her. My son he's busier and busier and so when we have time together also just we like to hike a lot and to go into the mountains and just enjoying that time together. I think the other thing I should say is singing we really like music we like singing together and my daughter now can sing like the ABC song and happy birthday. I also sing with her like kind of in a funny way I hope no one's offended but like起来，不愿做奴隶的人们……I will say get up, get up, all of a sudden, she would start singing it. But I don't know as many Chinese language songs they do English so I just sing in English a lot but yeah it's fun. Love brings you Achilles' armor as well as his heel. When my son was born, and I like to say I birthed my son. When I birthed my daughter, it's like an active thing, it wasn't just a passive like all of a sudden the baby came out, I was just really unprepared,  I mean I had taken the birth class and I had learned what I could but until you physically feel a baby you know coming through your body and  what it's like to help that baby out into the world. My labour with him was only four hours from the beginning to the end, very fast. It was a little bit like I didn't have a chance to really adjust to it before he was already coming out and ready to be born. With my daughter, I just had a better sense of what was awaiting me, and also from everything that I read from that birth class reading from the book written by the midwife who was from the farm and those kinds of books I just had a better awareness of like this is up to me, and I just need to draw on all of my own power to help her out and I didn't have any medication or anything like that. That moment you know with her also was a very fast labor like it was kind of most of the day you know. I lost my mucus plug in the morning and then for a lot of the day was having slow contractions, very very slow. It just felt like a little cramping and then there was a point in the evening where it got a little more intense and then I started timing the contractions and then again it was very fast between the time I started timing and the time it got like very close together and not very long I realized okay gotta get the midwife here and gotta get myself in position and everything. Then about the time the midwife came really again it was time to birth that baby, but there was this point where I just kept pushing her head out and her head would come out and then would go back in. I pushed again and you know like all the power and so hard and so intense and quite back in and then I just realized you know okay this I just got to do this, and it's up to me and I just need to like with all the strength that I have like push it out. I like to say I roared my baby out like I gave a big roar and it was like herculean effort that she came out that I pushed her out. I think that's a really good metaphor, what it's like to become a mom. You have to take all of your strengths and help them out into the world. that's what when people talk about it as a passive thing, it's like oh no and I know every birth is different but in this case thank god I was able to have a safe healthy birth like that and with such good support such good midwife and. so I think that that's the flip side of like knowing your power and then when you're in that vulnerable time it's a little bit easier. I will say you know the whole situation of the pandemic and being so close to there, it made it really hard for me to let go. So, I'll give you a couple of examples, first of all, I did co-sleep at the very beginning and then, but I realized after co-sleeping with my son for a very long time I realized I needed that separation. So, I did get to the point where I was putting her in her crib at night in a different room but I had such a hard time doing that, like I was almost panicked about it, I had the monitor it was all fine it was all safe but I was just not comfortable about it. She wasn't sleeping very long at that time, it was probably just a couple of few hours at that time, but still it felt very scary for me to go to sleep while she was asleep and just feeling like what if I didn't hear her and what if she needed me and I didn't come. I felt much better if I was awake, but you know at the end of the day you have to just trust that your child will be okay and pray. Other times I'd feel vulnerable, you know especially given the pandemic and so many things like it was scary to see anybody. We were vaccinated and we didn't know as much as we know now about how the disease is transmitted. There were so many scary moments and we just really stayed home a lot and really limited how much we were out in the world. Then the other thing that was really difficult was when both of my children went back to school at the beginning of the pandemic time. So, my son went to high school and at the time he wasn't vaccinated because it wasn't available yet. That was scary sending him with a whole school of people who you know in the US, not many people wear masks. Just knowing that there's this big bad thing out there and sending him into that that was scary. Feeling like it's a big school, they don't know him and is he going to be okay? I think being together for the year made it harder to have that separation. I know he thought I was very silly because I really wanted to know every time like where he was and when he got in the car and anything like that. The other thing that was really difficult was when my daughter started school, she was sixteen months old, and it was just a morning preschool wasn't a lot of time but it was so hard for me to leave her because we had been together all the time during the pandemic. Because it was so scary to have anybody with her, everybody seems like they could be a potential disease factor and so I just couldn't leave her really. I would go into the school with her, and she'd never been in the school setting before she was so little. I’d go into the school with her, and the teachers had a policy the school had a policy for covid that you could only stay for fifteen minutes. Then the teachers would have to like literally to send me out and she was fine you know she was totally fine, but it was really hard for me. It was kind of like saying good night to her and letting myself fall. By the time we got to the end of the year I was able to kind of laugh at it with their teachers. I'm sure it was so hard for them because the parents really aren't supposed to stay in the room that long, regardless of Covid rules, it’s just messes up there. I was even picking her off after just a short time, so I think that's where you see like the vulnerability of just can my child face the world without me? But now she loves going to school I mean she really enjoyed it the whole time, but it was just me I had to wrap my mind around like okay she's gonna be okay without me. In the end we all did get covid in January of 2022, but it was not bad. We were both vaccinated at the time my son and I and then I think my daughter had some protection because of the breast milk that she was getting from me in my immunity and so thank God we were all okay. There are so many challenges. I think that we don't treat childcare as an important value as we should. In this respect, China is much better than we are. I know it's not perfect but in China there are two things going on. The first is that there's an expectation that grandparents will take care of babies and toddlers. On the other hand, there is a very robust system of kindergarten starting at age three that lasts for the entire day and feed children and take care of them the whole day. So that a mother can go back to work in a pretty normal way from that age. It's a difficult thing I think to say that for three years, you're on your own, but then we've got to do once the child turns three. But we just don't have that system here in the US. it's so hard to find a spot in a center that's high quality. The center my daughter is in is a morning preschool, it's 8:30 am to 12:30 pm. They eat lunch there, we send the lunch with the children and they don't heat it or anything like that so it's just kind of up to you to put an ice pack in or put it in a container. In China we're used to like having warm food and that kind of thing but there's really no way to do that over there I just don't put ice in it usually, so it stays from temperature at least. But then there's the whole rest of the day. Now, I've signed her up for after school care as well, so she'll be able to stay till five thirty. They'll probably pick her up early but that's just a huge problem for mothers. I say mothers because it's usually the mothers are the ones that are really responsible for making sure the child is taking care of. In my daughter's school,  the dads are often helping with the drop off.  They bring the child or they'll pick the child up, but it's really the mothers who are most involved with the kids. Also paying for childcare is really hard so. I know in China it's changed a little bit in recent years. Basically, there's help from the government to pay for childcare and the really good kindergartens are subsidized by the state, but in the US, there's really no subsidy. There’re some forms sometimes in a location like in a city or in a particular state, they may have some support for childcare. When I was in graduate school when my son was born, we did have some subsidy for his childcare but with my daughter there isn't anything. So, it's just up to the family to cover. For example, this year, the tuition for her is 750 dollars a month, and that's for five mornings a week and two afternoons. So, it's quite a lot and it often is like a pretty big part of a family's budget. Also finding quality teachers is tired and that's why we're in a kind of part day school because I feel like the teachers there are much better than the teachers stay at the centers entire day. Anyway it's just a very hard thing to find good childcare. Then I also have to say just overall society. Thinking about my son like are unfortunately in an age where there are shootings all the time in the united states. With gun violence, talk about feeling vulnerable and being anxious about your child going in the world. I don't really fear like okay he's gonna have a situation at school today but you know, we just have had so many crazy things. There was a twelve year old boy last year who killed the classmate at his elementary school, just that kind of insane thing that you just really don't expect to happen and you wish what never happened, so that's the other thing that I think is this very scary as a parent. Support that mothers hope to gain from the community First of all, I think projects like this where we can hear each other stories and learn from each other's experiences are so important. I know I learned so much from reading those birth stories. I was in two different support groups. One was called centering pregnancy group. This a wonderful resource, every week the pregnant women get together for one hour support. just talking about what's going on, what are your challenges, and just recognizing that we all are going through challenges and also we're going through joys at the same time. That's a really good tone for what you're dealing with and we could give each other advice and offer ideas. Similar format when my daughter was born and then I joined the same organization had a group for new moms. The facilitator was just this most wonderful person, you felt like she cared about you and really listened and really honored your story. With babies in particular, so many different opinions what do you do about feeding, what do you do about sleeping, those are the main ones, it wasn't judgmental at all. it was just like hears what we're doing. It’s such a big gap between my babies, there were all these new products that I didn't hear about but through this group I learned like okay there's this swaddle and you wear this merlin suit and you know there's the shusher (白噪音仪) which is literally machine that goes shush，shush， a machine you turn on so the baby sleeps better. which noise machine and which everything and which breast pump and how do you use it. it was so nice to just have that community of support of people. I think moms can be really generous with sharing their ideas, sometimes it can get a little bit like oh I'm doing it right, you're doing it wrong, but for the most part I think people have just been lovely about being resourceful for each other. So, I would hope that people would continue to do that. The other thing, that I'm really troubled by is the way that birth has become so medicalized, and how parents have lost so much choice, so much ability to choose. How they want their child to be birthed how they want their child to be treated as a brand-new baby, and how they want their baby to be treated in the doctor's office. I'm speaking specifically about birth monitoring procedures and interventions during the childbirth process as well as things that happened right after the baby was born. Does everybody need the same kind of intervention? Hospitals now are just trying to minimize risk and that's not always appropriate. There’re some situations where babies are just fine and they don't need all of this intensive chemical input and artificial input into those tiny little bodies. As much the research as I had done about it, the birth was fine, because we did that outside of the medical setting outside of the hospital setting. but once my daughter started school, she was required to have immunizations on a very specific schedule, without any regard for whether they make sense or not and without getting too deep into the discussion of should they be required or should they not be. I'll just say that in Europe, there is one set of requirements, in the United States there's a totally different set of requirements. There are many vaccines that the US requires that Europe does not. I find it really terrible that parents aren't allowed to make the decisions that they think are right for their children, and still send them into school so it feels like there's a kind of a vice, like a kind of hands reaching out to choke you, and like make you do something in a very particular way. I think moms need to support one another in their decisions about how to handle that, but most of all we deserve the autonomy to decide for our own families and our own children what goes into their bodies and what doesn't and that's the other big thing. Of course, for working mums, it would be so nice if everybody had a chance to take time with those little babies. In Sweden and Canada there's a whole year of birth leave and then in the US,  there's really very poor birth leave, very short and often unpaid, so people have to decide between earning their living or staying home with a tiny baby,  which often makes bad situations so just really trying to change policies so that women are better supported with the time to take care of their families as well as the quality childcare they need when they do go back to work. It's a great Journey Afterall I think the last thing to say is just how special and incredible this journey is, and scary and humbling and powerful all of the same time, like just watching a small person learn from you and absorb the world around them and then make it their own in ways that we scientifically know should happen, but you know that it's like a bit of magic every time, nonetheless. It's a part of both parents you know both of us passing ourselves on to our children and it's this incredible and I'm just so grateful for that opportunity and I hope everybody else can pause in the midst of all the exhaustion and the difficult moments, to just marvel and keep that sense of wonder that our children often have to.

Written by Dr. Runa In the year 2000 I moved to the Faroe Islands, a small group of islands in the North Atlantic Ocean. The Faroe Islands belong to the kingdom of Denmark and has a small population of 54 thousand ppl. The Islands is still considered as a homogeneous and monocultural society. I moved to Denmark in 2009 to pursue my studies and moved back to the Faroe Islands in 2016. The first thing i noticed was a Demographic change – women from East Asian countries were part of society. Most of those women were married to the Faroe men.  Just as in other parts of the world, the Faroe Islands was also experiencing migration, where marriage migration is becoming quite common. Unfortunately, there are some consequences when those women choose marriage migration. Some women experience stigmatisation and stereotyping. They often loose their agency and are commodified – they are often being perceived as only someone’s wife or simply as a foreigner. But they are more than that. In small place like the Faroe Islands, your background and which family you belong to, is of great importance; migrant women often find themselves without a history in the Faroese community – and this causes a loss of agency and may even cause a loss of identity. Through my research I was able to break some of the stigmatization and stereotypes of them as women – by giving them a voice to tell their own story. A voice, to tell why they moved to the Faroe Islands – a voice, for us to see them, as human beings with agency – human beings able to make rational choices. A voice, to create a bridge for them as newcomers into the receiving community. A voice, to create understanding of why they chose to migrate; and to continue the story of their life in the Faroe Islands. As those women, are not only wives, or mothers, but women who have a rich story to tell about their life in their home country, women with different dreams and goals in life. Research has shown that Asian women experience stigmatization in the US, Denmark, UK and other European countries .They are often stigmatised as mail order brides, poor, submissive or uneducated – or in need of a man to save them. My research and other research has falsified this stigmatisation - many of those women are highly educated, but unfortunately they are often marginalised to unskilled work as their credentials are not recognised in the receiving country. My research has shown that one main reason why these women choose marriage migration, is because they want equality – Equality in their marriage, equality as women and equality as citizens both in their home country and the receiving country. They want to be respected as equal in their relationship. Furthermore, they told me that they are not attracted to the gender relationships in their home country – they want to be independent women and wish not to live up to the expectations that their family and society has of them as women. I must say that I feel honoured, that I was able to give some of those women a voice. I feel honoured they trusted me with their story. I feel honoured I was able to create a bridge in order for Faroese people to see those women as rational individuals, who are able to take rational choices for their lives. There  is a need for migrant  women to be heard both in their home country and in the receiving country – we have to start somewhere, and research is also a way of giving women a voice.

Written by Aisha Moffett Parenting is like a roller coaster. It takes me to my highest highs and then it drops me into the most exhilarating ride of my life. Sometimes parenting is full of thrills and joy and sometimes it makes me want to cry. Parenting is a rollercoaster. It goes so fast that by the time I look up its over. When I get off a roller coaster, I have felt so many emotions and learned so much about myself through every twist, turn, and drop. Similar to riding a rollercoaster, it’s the exhilarating teachable moments of parenting that I think has been the most enlightening part of being a mom. My son, Khalil Xavier Moffett is nine years old. He has been one of the most influential teachers in my life. I’ve learned so much from him and I want to highlight the three main areas where he has taught me about myself, about the world, and about parenting. My son has taught me so much about myself. First, I didn’t know how much I could truly love another human being and what I would do to ensure their happiness and security until I was a parent. That alone has been a valuable lesson in and of itself. Also, I’ve learned what true grace and forgiveness is supposed to look like as I get to love my child through all of his stages from baby diapers, spit ups, the terrible twos, broken objects around the house, repeating instructions, temper tantrums, sleepless nights to the ever present battle to do homework. The list is long and even with the common challenges that parents face raising kids, each of our children have unique personalities that ultimately shape our unique parenting styles. I also learn a lot about myself because my son is a mirror for my husband and me. He mimics so many things we say and do. We have shaped him, and he is continually watching us so we can see ourselves in him. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it’s frustrating. Sometimes it’s embarrassing. Yet, it’s always eye-opening. We realize the things we say repeatedly and how we say them, and we correct ourselves as we understand better how they impact Khalil. We reflect on our temperament. We assess our strategies. We try to live our values. We establish fun family customs and traditions to create a home where he can thrive and feel supported. We also discover our personal and collective style of parenting by listening to Khalil and observing what he responds to favorably or unfavorably. Simply put, I never knew that a younger person would teach me more about myself than I could ever learn on my own. There’s nothing more rewarding than seeing the world through my son’s eyes. It's one of the most honest and pure views I’ve ever had the privilege to observe. Children have no filter and what they see they say. It makes us as adults laugh out loud (and sometimes cringe) because they have the ability to express things that we would keep quiet about. So many times, I find myself prepping my son to tell me something first before he says things out loud because his assessment of what he sees can be unfiltered (and honest) but it might also have unintended consequences. Another aspect I enjoy is when he experiences a new phenomenon for the first time. The awe and wonder of it all are a joy to share with him. He will describe something so simple yet so accurately. The first time he saw an elephant he said, “Look Mommy, it’s big with wrinkles and it has a long nose.” Then he asked, “Why do they stink?” All accurate observations and definitely straight to the point. Because he sees the world through an innocent yet blunt filter, he has made me take notice, appreciates, and understand life and its complexities much better. When he asks questions, it sparks my curiosity and if I don’t know the answer, I find it for him or better, yet we find it together. My son has taught me the debilitating power of fear because as a mother I want to protect him at all costs. Quick story - he was hesitant to ride a roller coaster but when he finally did he taught me that facing our fears may take time but when we do, it’s powerful. Seeing how he faces life’s situations has brought me so much understanding and clarity about the world. He has taught me the importance of being courageous because when he is brave, I realize that I can also be brave and face challenges in my life. He has taught me the value of forgiveness and how to apologize. Because of the importance of healing and reconciliation, I try to model both practices with him. I have learned how to fail forward with him because we both have realized that everyone makes mistakes, but we must turn them into opportunities to learn. For example, my son knows so much more about technology than me and he will say, “Mommy, let me show you” when I can’t navigate a new app on my phone or figure out a glitch with the cable box. He takes pride in teaching me something new and I take pride in being his pupil. He has shown me what resilience looks like by moving to a new country and making friends, trying new foods, and learning how to speak and read a new language. He has taught me about boundaries when he has politely asked people not to touch his unique hair or saying no when he does not feel comfortable in a situation. He knows what he wants and what he doesn’t want, and it empowers me to be just as adamant about my desires and dislikes. Finally, he has taught me how to parent him. I learned from a friend (who is an amazing mom) to check in at times and ask him how can I be a better parent. Those conversations are always eye-opening because of the raw honesty my son brings to the dialogue. He tells me things he wishes I would do more and less. At times when I have been upset with him he will say, “Mommy you are not listening to me.” This is always a reminder to pause and hear his perspective. In some instances, we agree and in some instances, we agree to disagree. Sometimes he will repeat my words to me starting with, “You said…” or he will remind me of my actions, starting with “You always…” and most of the time he’s right. It reminds me that he's always watching, listening, and taking notes even when I don’t think that he’s observing my actions. It’s definitely a curious world we live in as parents. We’re raising kids that will one day be global citizens and we’re always answering questions and guiding them to hopefully be amazing human beings. However, we must realize that while we’re teaching them, we must also learn from them. Parents need to slow the parenting rollercoaster down and cherish the opportunity to bond with our kids through shared experiences. All things considered, I welcome every lesson learned from my gift and biggest blessing, Khalil. He’s made me a better student of life and for that I’m forever grateful to be his mom.

Nelly Alarma-Vidondo, 64. I am the daughter of Spanish political immigrants, born in Didube, Tbilisi. I graduated from a Russian school during the Soviet Union. When I was 3 years old, my father left us, and I grew up alone with my mother. We had a very friendly relationship. When I was 13, she fell ill, and we spent the next 5 years in hospitals before she passed away. I had no relatives in Georgia. At the age of 17, I met my future husband in my yard. He kidnapped me as it was a common practice back then. We had four children together, two girls, and two boys. My children brought light into my life, and they meant everything to me. I became fully immersed in their lives, often forgetting about myself. Now, I am blessed with nine grandchildren. There were both challenges and joyful moments along the way. I worked as an art teacher in a school for some time. However, when all my children fell ill with hepatitis simultaneously, I had no choice but to leave my job. Even my husband was emotional when he saw how many children came to beg me not to leave the school. I also worked as a nanny, forming special bonds with the babies who enjoyed my energy and aura. My husband had a difficult personality, and there were cases of domestic violence in our family. Despite the hardships, I endured everything for the sake of my children. He left us 22 years ago, leaving me penniless and initially scared to be alone with four children. I sold everything in our home, be it gold or pottery. However, we gradually found our independence, started working, and supported each other. Motherhood was physically exhausting, but I cherished every moment. I was a dedicated and sometimes "crazy" mother. Looking back, I wonder if I needed to work so tirelessly. Late nights were spent ironing and washing after the children went to bed. Their presence and the noise they made never bothered me; I kept them close at all times. We functioned as a united team, doing everything together in a friendly and cohesive manner. In the 90s, with no electricity or gas, we relied on a wood stove. My oldest son entertained us with his humor, while the rest of us engaged in needlework, knitting, and embroidery. I often find myself nostalgic for those simpler times. One of my top priorities was to provide warmth and love to my children. When they were with me, I felt a deep sense of responsibility for nurturing them. I approached our relationship as equals, fostering a bond where they felt comfortable opening up to me. We became each other's confidants, supporting each other through the challenging years. I made it a point to welcome their friends into our home, getting to know them and observing their interactions. Despite feeling exhausted at times, I found joy in cooking and creating a welcoming environment for everyone. I cherished the friendship I shared with my mother, often missing her while at school. After finishing my lessons, I would eagerly visit her at work, enjoying our outings to the cinema and cafes as we explored new experiences together. Five years ago, I faced a diagnosis of third-stage cancer, undergoing surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation therapy. The onset of the pandemic added further challenges to my journey. When a new store opened in my neighborhood, I eagerly took on a job there. Interacting with customers provided a welcomed distraction. Despite feeling fatigued, the warmth and kindness from others boosted my self-confidence. Their compliments reassured me of my worth, and having my own income brought a sense of independence. While my personal struggles may not be of interest to those I encounter at work, I find fulfillment in listening to and caring for them. When they express gratitude and admiration, it fills my heart with joy. I didn't truly discover myself until receiving the cancer diagnosis and navigating through the challenges that followed. For so long, I lived solely for others - my mother, my husband, and my children. I focused on their happiness, forgetting my own desires. However, during treatment, I realized the importance of living my own life and embracing who I am. Perhaps this difficult journey was a reminder from a higher power to prioritize self-care. In recent years, I've received more recognition than ever before. Even during hospital visits for treatments, I was often mistaken for a caregiver rather than the patient. The nurses' kind words and gestures of support helped me through the toughest times, and their care was truly heartwarming. Amidst the pandemic, I found solace in knitting and used my talent to create blankets for doctors. The joy it brought them was priceless, and crafting became a way to combat isolation. Participating in a holiday crafts exhibition allowed me to showcase my creativity, and my colleagues appreciated my handmade work. While I've always been busy, my perspective on life has shifted. I now cherish the simple moments, savoring the freedom of not being tied to obligations. Spending time with my children and grandchildren fills me with a renewed energy and a deep sense of gratitude. Embracing this newfound zest for life, I am grateful for the unwavering support of my loved ones and the joy they bring into my life. My son is my best friend. He brings out the best in me, he changed my life in many ways. He is my image maker, and we go shopping together. He encourages me to make free choices regardless of the age. My life-choices were guided by stereotypes and biases since childhood and now I’m slowly getting rid of them. We’re meeting today. We’ll go to cafes, and restaurants, and have deep conversations about life. We tell each other everything and we solve problems together. Being close to him comforts me. I'm happy I have him in my life. When I was diagnosed with cancer, he took care of everything, from paychecks to entertainment. He takes care of his siblings and their children too. They respond with great respect and love. Thanks to Guram, today, I am stronger than ever. On the 4th of January, regardless of the fatigue I was experiencing as a result of chemo infusion, he still took me out shopping. He made me feel exactly the same way as we remember Julia Roberts in the famous shopping scene in “Pretty Woman.” Sadness disappeared and then we sat down at the restaurant for some sweet chat. There is a big difference between the mothers of my generation and the modern moms. More and more women refuse to keep their marriage at all costs. They are bolder and take risks. Maybe it's better. People's opinions meant so much to me, it was so important what others would say or think about my actions. We had to be patient and always compromise. We lived in fear, with no freedom of choice and expression. I was afraid of everything and I was depressed because of it. Motherhood has always been challenging across the geographies and generations. But modern mothers are more fearless, and I like it. Be bold and make courageous decisions. Believe in yourself. Don't think that someone will come and help you. No, you have to overcome the difficulties yourself. This is how you become stronger. Believe that you can do anything. A human can do everything. The weaker you are more troubles and trials you’re getting in life. You may not know where your strength is hidden, but you will someday find yourself in a situation where you feel how much you’re capable of overcoming and achieving. I felt that life is only experienced in motion. I don't get lazy anymore, I spend every day energetically. I believe in God. Whatever trouble came my way, it was from him, I know that. I understood his message and I prove it by the actions that I take every day.